Showing posts with label year word. Show all posts
Showing posts with label year word. Show all posts

Saturday, October 27, 2012

small leaps towards balance

A note: this is definitely one of those relitively few decks where I very much feel the need to read the book/get the creator's perspective before I approach reading the cards, and thus what I write will surely be influenced accordingly.


Two majors to start off the week with the Mary-El tarot - a rather appropriate set, on a couple of levels. Though the card in this deck is titled Justice, I see in it more of the Thoth Adjustment influence than the tradition of the RWS. We have the Egyptian mythology here, Maat with the feather to weigh, to judge. The point of life, in that tradition, was to seek balance, equilibrium, to live and act in such a way that, when the time to be weighed came, your heart would balance out with the feather and your soul would not be eaten up but rather allowed to continue on to the afterlife.

Equilibrium is what strikes me, and reminds me of that word of the year project/idea I wrote about back at the start of the year. A word to focus on, an idea and a goal - I chose Equilibrium because this year is also a Justice year for me, as far as year card calculations are concerned, and I felt that its very much something I could use more of in my life. I must say, on the whole, though I have had some amazing adventures and experiences this year, particularly this summer, up until this week I would have to admit that I don't really think I have made much progress on the whole bringing more balance into my life goal. We have the Fool next to this Justice card though, a dynamic fool, full of energy and passion and most importantly, movement. The waterbearer, dancing with dragon-gods from Mesopotamian mythology, the earliest of human civilization beginnings, and butterflies for transformation. Air is the element of this card, the association in the Thoth. Air can represent intellect, thoughts, the swords suit in the tarot, but also freedom. Is there any greater freedom than the feel of flying through the air, the sky?

I think I may have made progress this week, small, limited, much-caveated but nonetheless real progress. I feel more capable of taking on some things than I did just a few days ago, and that is something.

Speaking of which, the other level at which these cards seem relevant deals with the academic - a very important paper I must write for my Terrorism class by Monday. The fool here I see as myself, at the beginning of my writing process, some ideas spinning around my head but much work still to be done. We had to pick one of six questions to respond to and I wrote a vague outline of an idea for two of them yesterday, since one answer I had to run by the professor and I wanted to have a backup in case he vetoed it. He approved it though, leaving me debating which idea to go with. In the Justice card, I think I have an answer. A prompt to compare the professionalism of two terrorist organizations. My thesis is a rather nuanced, balanced one - that neither was more professional than the other, per se, but that they are/were fundamentally different. Organization A was a hybrid terrorist group and insurgency, with significant conventional force at its disposal at its height. It's armed forces were quite well trained, as were its suicide bombers, etc. It controlled territory and governed it to some degree. Other group, on the other hand, is more professional at pure terrorism, a transnational network with no set location, its leadership having a history of moving when necessary, outsourcing to affiliates around the world, etc. The more conventional nature of the former group was what ultimately allowed it to be defeated, while the more purely asymmetric and loose network structure of the latter why it continues to be a major threat. They were both very professional, but different natures, strengths and weaknesses, etc.

Well, now that I have an idea even more worked out (I do love it when tarot helps me do my academic work), I suppose I should apply some of that fool energy and write a proper outline/draft.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

the forest and the trees

It's interesting how well some metaphors translate into spreads of sorts...particularly since card reading is itself, from a certain perspective, essentially the reading of visual metaphors, a shorthand of familiar images and system of associations. Anyway, a draw to try to focus/ground myself for the coming week, with this sort of spread in mind:

The Forest (Big Picture) - The Trees (Details)

I must say, I rather like the little frown of uncertainty or indifference on the figure's face in this Temperance card. There is a spring nearby, carefully constructed, and the angel (love the androgyny of many of the cards in this deck as well!) does the water pouring, water mixing thing. Chemistry, alchemy, synthesis, experimentation.

With a frown on it's face. Because sometimes, taking the path of moderation, finding and maintaining that balance, sticking with the reasonable thing and avoiding those extremes - it can be the hardest of all possible options. It's easy to throw yourself carelessly, recklessly into the most clearly delineated of positions. Dogmatism has a way of taking a grip on one's soul. All or nothing, right? All or nothing, and sticking to doing things simply because you've done them that way for so long...

And so stepping back to evaluate, to say - no, this isn't working, let's tray again...that can be hard. That can be hard to internally motivate yourself to want to do. Moderation as an art requiring patience with yourself, to try again and again with the water pouring, jug to jug, until finally you find a balance, a setting, a way of going about things that is sustainable, that works for you.

It is tempting to just give up, especially with so many things in the short-term to grab the attention, to distract, to let you tell yourself that your lack of progress in these matters doesn't matter. It does, though. Need to keep trying, looking at the bigger picture, trying to find a way, a reason to fix things, to bring things into better balance, equilibrium. 

As for the short term, those immediate details - remember prudence. This card actually quite strongly recalls the Thoth's 8 of disks...the coins are in the same arrangement, and flowers on each coin, and the hint of vines at the top of the card...a time to prudently nurture things, let things develop, take care of the things that need to be taken care of, attend to responsibilities. In this deck, eights are associated with Justice in the majors - again, a message about balance - and with coins dealing with the material realm, the financial, the solid and earthy...

While keeping big picture search for equilibrium in mind, this is the time to attend to ensuring that all the little, immediate, concrete things that must be taken care of are, that all of those are put right, handled in an appropriate manner. Arrange them all in neat rows like these. Don't shy away from doing the work to make that happen.

Channel that virgo influence this card has in the Thoth's system, keep the tree carefully pruned, organize and arrange and procure what you need, keep justice in mind and apply it to all your current worldly concerns, and keep working at it until all is done and settled - interesting how, with pip cards, it becomes so natural to draw on the influences of just about all the different tarot systems in the reading...

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

another take on the year card

So this came up in a draw today, reminding me that yes, Justice is my year card for 2012 and I am supposed to be working on that whole Equilibrium achieving theme word thing...

I'm really realizing now that the majors in the Sun and Moon really are quite Thothy, by and large, in a kind of playful-light way. Here we have the same kind of woman, standing on tiptoe with the moon-hilt sword pointing downwards...maintaining that careful balance, equilibrium, and discerning, weighing, yes. I really do prefer the Thoth title for this card the more I think about it though....Adjustment, a force of nature that simply is, without any human societal value judgement. Justice is too...variable, really. Is the death penalty justice? Is stoning a woman justice? Is a public flogging justice? So much variability and room for argument. Adjustment is simply about....bringing things into the proper balance.

Anyway, there are the familiar Thoth scales here, alpha and omega etched into each but also the ancient Egyptian symbolism of the feather weighed against the heart...it's kind of funny how that particular bit of mythology has gotten to be so pervasive across the esoteric...the same blue-green color as in the Thoth justice too, for wisdom and contemplation, the coolness of air, libra and even the hints at those spheres uniting masculine, feminine, above and below...very much balance, yes. Except here there is also color: the bright yellow dress, energy and light, and of course those vivid orange butterfly wings...

Energy, light and transformation. Active engagement in the adjustment process of equilibrium finding, the balancing act - continuing from the swiftness theme of yesterday, the idea of proactive engagement, in taking what you can for yourself, letting yourself grow and transform into something better, brighter. The yin-yang on the top of the scales here, uniting brightness and dark:

How can I bring my life more in line with that concept? What issues can I take that sharp sword to, wear my bright dress and balance, and adjust?

Saturday, February 18, 2012

abundance of...

So this card came up as part of a larger spread/reading I was doing for myself this morning about a problem/issue I am having...essentially, frustrated efforts to get professional help and various options of how to proceed. The whole reading was surprisingly positive. This card came up in the position of 'General Advice/Where I am now'...

The title here is abundance, which of course begs the question - abundance of what, exactly? But we see it in the card: abundance of energy, of light that shines; abundance of love, for others, for the world and especially for yourself; abundance of motivation, creativity, drive. It needs to come from within you, this abundance, twined deeply enough within your brain to resist the negativity that comes and goes...

And if you have it, if you can fill up those cups and keep them decently filled, what is it that you cannot accomplish, or at least give a damn good try? If you don't have motivation or energy or some kind of hope, the best therapist in the world won't be able to do much to help you, especially if you are an adult (children/minors you can at least sort of force to do things that are good for them if they are unwilling...) with a mind of your own.

On the other hand, if you can find it within yourself...then you can make the best of whatever you have to work with. And if a so-called professional essentially tells you 'sorry, you're problems are too serious for the kind of help you are looking for' and rebuffs? Fine, fine. You can still make IMPROVEMENT, focus on  that EQUILIBRIUM and bringing balance to yourself with what you have - self help books, tarot cards, the support of a few online friends. You can work with what you have, and do well if you keep your eye on modest goals, realistic intentions. What you need most is not some external person telling you what to do, but that which you must find within yourself.


(Random note: kind of amused to realize that I quite frequently revert to writing in second person when writing up readings for myself, ha. Also, Thoth keywords are surprisingly apt. given how often keywords in other decks are a bunch of nonsense. )

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Finding Balance Spread

So, to continue on with my year-word theme of equilibrium, I decided to do this simple little spread. The point of a scale is to weight things, to make sure they are in balance - hence its use to represent idealized justice. So in this spread, I ask:


What influences weigh too heavily in my life right now? 
What influences weigh too lightly?



Again, in the actual spread both came up as reversals, so keeping that in mind in terms of my interpretation but posting regularly because, well.

Lovers of this deck shows up again here, this time to reflect on what's too much of an influence in my life...reversal here makes a lot of sense. See, indecisiveness is ME. Oh gosh, is it me. My Cancerian nature I suppose, has a lot to do with it. But there's a difference, between 'I cannot decide which bottle of ketchup to buy at the store' and 'I cannot decide if I want to try to do something amazing or if I even want to be alive' and the latter, the latter is the crux of many of my life issues, right now. I just so terribly cannot decide which direction to go in. I cannot figure out what I want, how much I really love the things I love. The veiled girl and the traditional girl and I, like the man, stand between my choices but I cannot choose, I go back and forth, probably doing injustice to both because I CANNOT CHOOSE WHAT TO COMMIT TO. Even KNOWING that one of the options is just terrible, in the case of one particular issue...I still cannot choose to let it go, and the indecision gnaws away at me. What do I love? What do I really want? The question looms largely. Too largely, it seems.

As for what weighs too lightly? Well here we have the knight of fire, the wands suit of this deck. Like you might expect, this knight is rearing and ready to go. As is his horse. His sword is out, he is suited up, he is ready to take action, to take on difficult things, to take on the world. He is confident in himself, his abilities, and he has energy and motivation and drive and he actually DOES THINGS, not just THINKS about doing them. This knight has ambitions and goals to keep him focused. That, I think, is what I need more of, according to this card. Something to keep me driven, and some self-confidence, more willingness to take pro-active action, to go out there and get things done even when doing them is hard. Maybe I need to find some assistance, my proverbial sword and horse to help me take on the world and get things done. Energy, though, especially, and forward momentum.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

"Equilibrium" - Roots and Branches

So I found this idea I quite like on the AT forums, about choosing a word for the year - something to work around, keep in mind, perhaps meditate on or write about or whatever. After spending a few days trying to think of an appropriate word I decided to take a cue from my year card, Justice and go with Equilibrium.

I like that word because it speaks of balance and fairness and all the stuff I wrote about in my year card post, and there are a LOT of areas in my life where I could really use some positive changes in this direction. Also, there's a kind of objective, logical quality to the word equilibrium that I like - it makes me think of my economics courses in college, the fact that on graphs, equilibrium was the point at which supply and demand met at a sustainable rate. Otherwise you'd have shortages or surpluses, problems, but at equilibrium, things are sustainable in the long term - even if things aren't perfect, at equilibrium you can let out a breath and know things are ok like this for a while. Again, something I could use more of for sure.

Decided to pull some cards for how to bring more Equilibrium into my life in a kind of roots/branches spread I've seen variants of on the forums...roots being the heart of the issue, the foundation, and branches being possibilities, outcomes, next steps.

Ace of Wands seems rather apt, in terms of foundation for trying to work more equilibrium into things...one thing I have to say about the Deviant Moon is...the majors are nice enough, sure, but this is one of those decks where it's the minors that really seal the deal for me. I love the Aces in this deck especially. Here, the ace of wands is a kind of wood/nature spirit woman. She holds a baby swathed in leaves, a kind of seed ready to grow, sprout. Her wand burns with possibility. Nurture it she needs to, though, right? Some work is needed, real work. And butterfly wings on her back, for transformation, transition, growth. Wands for energy, creativity, passion. Aces for initiatives and new beginnings.

Changes, even modest, realistic goal changes like 'I want more equilibrium in my life' (rather than more ambitious phrases like renewal! recovery! transformation!) don't just *happen* to you all on their own. I need to do something to make them happen, really approach this as something, a new initiative to follow through on, apply myself to with the best of my abilities.

This I find interesting as a branches card, because at first, it doesn't really seem to...well, stem from the Ace. If making positive changes is a project like this, like growing a garden, something that requires positive energy and creativity and drive, then why would the result, the branches, be this? We have a sad figure, sitting with his mask still on, in a comfortable enough place, well lit, orderly, looking not very happy at all...

But thinking about it more, it makes sense. See, just because you can recognize that change is necessary, that taking this and that step would improve your life significantly, doesn't mean that doing so is EASY. If it were EASY, you would have done so already, right? You are a creature of logic after all, or at least strive to be. If something is advantageous and easy, you go for it. But sometimes things aren't easy at all. Sometimes, letting go of what is familiar, even if it is not good-familiar, is terribly difficult. Sometimes you don't want to risk the crushing sense of defeat if your serious efforts at improvement don't work out. Sometimes you don't know where to start. Sometimes you make a great start and then don't know how to sustain that forward movement; you run out of energy, you sink to the ground in frustration and say, well I've already done this one thing, isn't that enough? But it isn't of course.

This card says to be realistic in expectations, and it commitments - it's not only about the Ace at the start. It's about continuing on even later, when that initial burst of start-energy dissipates. It's about continuing even when the motivation feels like such an ephemeral, intangible thing. It's about if you are serious about things, you need to know it won't always be easy, that things might get worse before they get better, and you need to be prepared for that. It is a clear-eyed, non rose-tinted vision.

lord of the root -
curl around us, here,
in tear-blackened earth. 
we are waiting for you,
waiting to sprout, to climb
higher, grasping for sky - 
we want to know you, 
wish to become
better than what we are
now, a sort of seed,
rough-edged and small. 
Nourish us.
Appreciated, cards, and duly noted. We'll see how this whole Equilibrium word thing goes...