tarot with a bit of... Science!

So while browsing around the internet in search of a bit of a different kind of spread to try out, I came across The Newton Spread on Raven's Tarot Site. I'm not really familiar with the website as a whole, but this spread is the kind of thing that tends to strike my fancy - bit of a different perspective on things, combining tarot with an entirely different field, etc.

I admit physics has never been my thing (I passed that class in high school by the skin of my teeth) but I figured it would be interesting to do an abbreviated version of the spread. Rather than pulling cards for all three of the Newtonian Laws of Motion, I decided to focus on just the first:

"Newton's first law of motion (also known as the law of inertia) states that any object in a state of rest or of uniform linear motion tends to remain in such a state unless acted upon by an external force.

Card 1 is your inertia, the potential inside you that won't act up or get effective without another force or impulse that will bring it into activity.
Card 2 is that other force or impulse that will bring the existing power inside of you into action."

 ----

 1. 
What then, within me,  is in a state of rest, inert until something pushes it forward, gives it momentum? We have here the 9 of Flame Songs, or Wands per regular titles. A colorful image, cluttered with so many objects united by the theme of creativity and self-expression: dance shoes, crafting supplies, paints and musical instruments and pages full of written words. In the center of it all there is something that looks like a cracked egg, the yolk dripping out, connecting all those objects together, the bright orange energy also flowing out in a tornado above it all.

Creative strength, artistic impulses. I've always had them. I used to want to be a writer for a while, as a teen. As a kid art sets were among the most treasured of holiday gifts received. Sometimes I dabble in writing poems. For a while I picked up knitting, then forgot about it again. I used to make collages and graphics on photoshop quite a lot. I go through phases of sketching. I haven't done that in a while, though I do tend to doodle madly, in numerous pen colors, all over what ostensible should be my notes in class; I always have, helps me think and pay attention. When I set my mind to it and found the patience to draw the same thing again and again and again until I got it just right, I managed to design a tattoo which, now that it is on me, I quite love. I once took a ceramics class I quite enjoyed. I go in and out of phases of doing photography. For a while my senior year of college I would destress by drawing/coloring on paper with colored chalk, different entirely and quite fun. Now I impatiently away the silly UPS to actually bring me the watercolor pencils I ordered.

Artistic impulses which come and go, which I rarely stick to for long. I allow my attention to flit this way and that, stop doing things for years at a time. Unimportant, unimportant. How many ideas do I have that are never acted on, ideas that flitter around in my mind until eventually they are forgotten because I do not have the time or the energy. There are more important things to focus on, serious things, things related to trying to eventually procure some kind of gainful employment that is not mind-numbingly dull and deeply dissatisfying... and in that context, these artsy things always seem like distractions, like waste of time, self-indulgent and only ok in limited quantities. Enough to destress, enough to distract when thoughts get too overwhelming but then back to the real things, the real.

So much creative potential that is not activated nearly as much as it could be...

2.

What force or impulse does or could get that creative, artistic side of me moving? Well, the Wheel of Fortune certainly does represent movement, the world and life spinning in cycles, up and down. Here the circle is divided into eight slices, each one showing a different image: success and catastrophe, sadness and joy, the bizarre and the mundane. We find ourselves in a variety of different circumstances at various points of our lives. Perhaps this card is suggesting that certain life phases lend themselves much more naturally to artistic endeavors than others.
At some points, I was taking art classes and doing artistic projects to fulfill academic requirements. Other times I had so much free time on my hands in made sense to experiment with new things. On the other hand, being a student in grad school, studying Arabic, trying to get life in some kind of order and desperately applying to various internships and suchlike...perhaps not the most conducive.

On the other hand, I can also see this as pointing out the fact that life is always topsy-turvy, full of surprises and complications and so many things that must be dealt with. I find time to do other things I consider important in spite of that; hell I find time to do things I know I would be much better of NOT doing - so why not make the time to play around creatively as well? It might not take the same form all the time - perhaps sometimes its more about drawing and other times I have a poem in my head, or a story idea; perhaps right now I have a mad desire to play around with color. Why not? Find time, way, to work on some of those things, to improve my abilities in them. No skill gets better without practice. I can write well, when I try, because I have a hell of a lot of experience in writing. If sometimes I do something artsy and get frustrated because it doesn't come out the way I see it in my head...the only way to get better is to do more of it.

I have, despite my creative inclinations, chosen to try to go down a career path where artistic ability is unnecessary, true. That doesn't mean I should engage in it on my own time, for my own enrichment and pleasure. Perhaps more sometimes than others, perhaps in different ways depending on what is convenient or possible but...something to keep in mind, something to pursue rather than ignore, leave un-moved, for that oh so intangible "later".

on movement, the death of things

We all know, us tarot readers, enthusiasts, what the Death card means. We know that it isn't necessarily, or even usually, about grandma or spouse pitching over dead when it shows up in a reading. No, it is death in a far more abstract kind of sense - the death of things, the withering away of the old, the tired. It is the end of things that are ready to be done. It is the stripping away, reaping the crop so that the earth may be sowed again with fresh seeds - reaping so as to stave away the rot.

We know this, we know. We know that things must end so that others may begin, that they must end because everything that begins also ends, eventually, and how boring would life be if things only ever stayed the same as always?

So many things we know will end before we even begin them - the trip with return flight scheduled, the relationship that is fun, but that you know deep down from the start is never going to be quite right.

We know too the metaphor of the Wheel, of cycles spinning around and around, of fortune swinging up and down. We know of wheels and spinning and death. Sometimes, when we are in the midst of something we love it can be bittersweet, this knowledge - that days are numbered, that all to soon this will become a mere memory, a shadow among many floating about in our minds. When our circumstances are terrible, in contrast, this knowledge serves as a hope, something to desperately clasp: yes, this is bad, yes this feels utterly unbearable but it too, will end, if we can only wait it out - it will end, like all things must.

Loss and death and ending can be frightening, painful...but is there anything more soul-shattering than the thing you fear will never be over, no matter how many times that wheel might spin, no matter how many other things might change, no matter how hard you might try?

They spin, those wheels and cogs, but are we moving with them or do we resist, clutch at things over and done? We long for things we can no longer have, comparing the now to the once was and feeling sad rather than trying to make the most of it; we stew on old resentments, slights and disasters, avoiding reasonable things because we insist on making sure that they never happen again, those wounds.

There is just so much energy, momentum around that spinning wheel...easier to move with it, wouldn't it be? Even when something deep inside us would like so very much to dwell in nostalgia...

death, change, musing

I am reminded here, of that well known fact of life - all things come to an end, eventually, a kind of death. All things appear, come to life, and then, sometimes quite quickly, die off as well. That is simply the way things are, unchangeable.

Life is full of little endings. My week working with a particular deck. I put the thing aside, grab another. A good book; I sigh and close it, remember a bit, move onto something else.

And larger - this time in Tunisia...it feels like so short now, with only a week left before I must go back; it doesn't feel like enough time. People you know, have met, who wonder into your life suddenly and then exit it again, perhaps never to be seen, existing only in memory.

And so it goes, the wheel spinning and spinning as it were. Change and death, so very much tied into each other. Nothing can stay the same for very long, unmoving, and yet to accept new developments is to necessarily allow some of the old to wither, fall away. Let the vultures feast on the remains.

So it goes. Climb out of the water and onto the rocks - or is the other way around? Yesterday we visited some more ruins - funny how close I live, here, to the remains of an ancient, burned out city, Carthage. We visited what was once the port of that place - in ancient times they considered it strategic, able to fit two hundred ships of war or trade.

Now it looks more like any lake in the countryside - filled with little boats with funny names. A old man wearing a straw hat sits across from us at the other side, fishing line in hand. Trash in the shallow parts of the water, cigarette cartons and plastic bags.

All things must and will die, change. Nothing to do but move forward, ready to see what the next stage has in store for us.

A mind like a feather perhaps, ready to float from one place to the next, light and unburdened and free to see. A mind like a feather, always ready to be picked up by a stray breeze. Ready to learn and to see.

Death comes from the sky and a wheel spins somewhere and a single feather blows away, in search of a new adventure...

birthday message

So yes, four and twenty I now am, it would seem.

Decided to do a birthday reading. First a card with a single message in and of itself, then a bit longer and more complex going into detail spread for myself, which I shall keep to myself got now, methinks.

But for that first, general message, this card came up. The wheel of fortune. Both as a reflection of the last year and as advice/perspective for times ahead, I think the message here is quite apt.

The world - your world - is always moving, spinning, changing. Nothing stays the same. You change, and so do the people around you, and your circumstances. Everything that has a beginning has an end. When something is particularly enjoyable, great, its good to both make the most of it in the moment, and to remember that it will not - cannot - last forever. Enjoy, but don't cling too much when it goes; don't spend too much energy on disappointment or that melancholy type of nostalgia once it is over. Instead just move on, seek new things. There are ALWAYS new things to be discovered, explored, made the most of.

Similarly, when things are at a low point, it's worth keeping in mind that this, too, will not last forever. Things will improve, even if slowly, bit by bit. Even if only temporarily. You mind find an opportunity when you least expect it, or from a direction you hadn't even considered. Best way to make sure you can see it and grasp it is to keep an open mind, and open eye.

Be flexible. Roll with the changes that make come. One day you might be a poor seller of birds; the next day the heir to the throne; later on, one of those same birds, in need of rescuing. So it goes. So the world spins. Spin with it. See where it takes you. All things begin and all things end and all things change and there is no use in anything but accepting what changes may come.

moving forward with the wheel....

many things spinning and moving, on the precipice of change...a definitely appropriate draw, here...

Yes, changing indeed. A school year is drawing to an end. If I can just get this one last THING done, a period of serious difficulty will mostly be drawing to a conclusion. My current living situation is going to be changing soon. The seasons are changing. My plans for the summer, for next year...so much flux, spin, uncertainty...

The concrete wheel at the forefront, the one made of gold, of things that you can shape, influence, perceive clearly...and behind it, in violent, the wider spinning, the cosmic wheel over which you have no power...the things, positive or negative, deserved or undeserved, that will simply happen... The rise and the fall, some things improving, and others deteriorating...always the spinning of wheels... Nothing can remain as it has been, static, for very long...

Still have those decisions to make, many of them. Have been moving forward and yet...slow-walking it, still uncertain, unable to concretely commit. It's the opportunity cost issue, really. WANTING something so badly and yet, uncertain that in going after it, I'm not giving up the chance to do something I might necessarily want, but which I perhaps NEED. And yet, feeling the chances of getting those needed things are so low anyway...

Jupiter and the Air. A time to fly into the wild, the unknown, the amazing. Perhaps...

You cannot dawdle forever, cannot try to stop the inevitable spinning. The fool, with his green garb, with his power of optimism, of faith in the new, says...just do it. Stop with the questions that have no real answers. Go with the flow of the forward movement. Make it yours, this unstoppable change; shape it. Make it what you want, and not what you would regret. Yes there is danger, of wrong decisions, of things blowing up in your face but...there is always danger, isn't there? Circular, oval rings here too, not a circle but more a spiral...you never quite get back to the same place that you were in, once you leave it and yet...you will return to a similar position, and perhaps the experiences that you gain as the fool will help you proceed forward in other ways as well, eventually, in ways that you cannot see currently...

Yes, a time to leap more enthusiastically. A time to commit, to stop second-guessing, to make my choice and just go with doing the things I need to do to make it happen. A time for prudence, pragmatism right now too. I MUST finish the things I still need to wrap up - that very late paper that has been murdering my brain, exam - and start on all the logistics of moving and packing and cleaning and trying to get things for myself done...so much to do in a short time, if I want commit to this possibility. So many flowers to gently enfold in leaves. Sun in Virgo...optimistic energy directed in pragmatic, material ways. Everyday matters that must be taken care of. Responsibilities and obligations to fulfill, roots to care for...

My Favorite Majors: The Wheel of Fortune

Conceptually, the Wheel of Fortune is certainly an interesting card, and one that has really kind of evolved in meaning for me over time - or, I suppose, expanded in meaning to be more precise. At one time I thought of it as primarily a counterpoint to Justice - sometimes things happen because its fair, and sometimes things are random and just happen and fairness or rightness or balance has nothing to do with it. For a while I thought of this card as being about things that are larger than you, out of your hands, limited control of. Later the idea of cycles, the spinning aspect really came into it. So yeah, a lot more nuanced than it appears. The takes on this card really do tend to vary between decks, and especially between traditions...some more interesting than others, suggesting or emphasizing different conceptual aspects... It was a mix of that and the aesthetic informing my favorites choices for this card.

X. Wheel of Fortune

Favorite:
What can I say? I like the TdM tradition take on the Wheel - nice and simple and gets the point across without too much fuss. At the same time, de la Rea art style specifically is just so PRETTY. Those masks...there is just something about the idea and the execution of those masked figures for everything in this deck that really appeals to me. The most familiar aspects are still there, and quite clear: the regal figure at the top, the rapid like one, hopping forward, and the falling one...love how their capes vary and move here also. The colors are really nice and just...yeah. I guess this was mostly an aesthetic appeal choice for me. I love the look of this card and it gets the point across nicely and so favorite it is indeed.

Runner Up:
So I realize that I have a definite preference for having an actual WHEEL in the Wheel of Fortune card...some  decks (Druidcraft and Victorian Romantic come to mind) forego that and focus more on the concept behind it, which is fine and good and interesting food for thought but...I like to see me a wheel. Here, I especially like the two dragons-serpents, one white and one red - which is itself very tied to the alchemical aspects of the deck - eating each other's tails. I have an particular liking for the ouroboros concept (to the point of having recently gotten a tattoo of an ouroboros-based design) and this isn't quite that but very related: things interconnecting, the end is a beginning etc. and yeah. The one on the top with wings and a crown, the one below without...same idea, cycles, rise and fall, but presented a bit differently which is always interesting. Having all four elements surrounding them in the corners is nice too - it ties together the alchemy theme, again, as it proceeds through all the majors, but to me it also ties in all four suits of the minors, shows the inter-related nature of everything in the world and just...appropriate to the card. Also, I like Robert Place's art style quite a lot, and find this card quite nice to look at too. ;]

short insights/free associations

So I suppose this idea is somewhere between a proper reading and just a free association exercise. Instead of shuffling the cards and drawing in my usual particular way, I just kind of spilled the deck onto my bed and mixed the cards around in circles and then just...picked three at random. Idea to write short fragments/insights for each that come to mind, but in relation to me rather than in the abstract...

What's funny is that before I trimmed them, the minors in this deck had Thoth titles - which I thought was a bit off since they are really mostly RWS based but since I've been working with the Thoth so much lately, they kind of come to mind anyway now...

Interference in this case, and yes. Feeling tied and very very stuck in certain situations and with certain issues, which theoretically I could free myself from yes except that...well, somehow that never works out, regardless of my intentions...years and years and years and somehow that never works out. The thing with these situations, which I think this card really captures, is that it isn't always as in the traditional RWS image with the woman blindfolded and simply unwilling to see how she could cut her bindings loose and leave...no, sometimes it just feels like this, in which you can see the situation quite clearly and yet, puppet strings controlling you, other factors and you just cannot seem to be able to take the proper actions...watching yourself, your body do the same old...a certain sense of disreality, disconnection, being there but not properly, not really because those strings attached, always those strings, interfering with any effort to get past that circle of swords and it gets so frustrating and you grow so detached...

I've written about this card before, the Prince (RWS knight) of pentacles...feel a particular connection with him yes, and I love the illustration here, the chariot driven by the taurus bull, such a solid, reliable animal, determined, pulling through anything. My approach to life in so many contexts. A certain stubbornness with positive connotations because you see, I may be indecisive sometimes, lack some confidence but once I commit to something - no matter what else is going on, what other kinds of problems I am having, if I am supposed to get something done I cannot let myself fail, must try to get it done and well.  I tend to commit myself to many things because its a kind of forced accountability, forced productivity, so I still do this blog and join/create reading circles on AT and set little goals for myself and try to get all my school work done and work and this isn't even the busiest I've ever been, not at all, and if in the middle of it those 8 swords problems are still so very much there and something else happens on top of that? So what, proceed proceed, must keep trudging our way forward, somehow...

Again I quite like the imagery...we have the monkey, sure, climbing up, improving and growing, achieving; the sphinx at the top, ruling over what it has, powerful; and the crocodile falling down, destroying, things all going to hell. Thothy influence indeed, in the majors. The wheel spins, sure, cycles and changes, but what I really like here is that fact that the wheel is a cog, gears and cogs and it is not one wheel but many, each going in its own cycle of up and down and around. This is exactly how life tends to be: how often do things line up so that everything is on an upward trend, or doing find, or even yes, falling apart? For me it's usually...some aspect has gotten a bit better, and in another area I am on top of things, have just succeeded, while in a third something stunningly unfortunate has just occurred and the trick of it is to somehow address all three of those facts in an appropriate manner. It can be confusing if it really is that much of a juxtaposition: so am I supposed to feel excited right now, or proud, or sad and a bit betrayed?  On the other hand, keeping this in mind can also be rather helpful - if on the one hand, the wheel seems to be spinning downwards for you, well, it helps to look around at what other wheels are also spinning - surely some are cycling towards better things, or are still at that peak. Everything changes, but at different paces and rates and for different reasons. So many different fortunes intertwined...

(And uh, on reflection, I guess this wasn't so "short" after all...I do have a tendency to ramble, don't I?)

thoughts on the marrakech

So I don't ordinarily comment at length/write up a whole post when switching between reading decks...but since the Marrakech isn't one of the easily available mass market decks that everyone and their ma has a copy of, and since i got it with specific reasons and expectations, I though I'd have a go at it in this case.

This is another one of those instances where I pick cards I feel are appropriate rather than pull them and interpret... See, I think what this deck does with the Fool is rather interesting. There are two fool cards in the deck...both have a reinterpretation of the classic symbolism, the man on a journey (though interesting that he isn't a youth!), scorpions and snakes at his feet instead of a dog, a hyena lurking in the background...danger, danger but also that sun and the rainbow, hope, optimism, opportunity awaiting. In one card, he is entering a veil, in the other leaving it...the beginning and end of some kind of journey, then? Running towards vs. from something? Seeing clearly ahead vs behind? Many ways to interpret this. My mind goes to the symbolism of oroboros again - all beginnings have an end, all ends are in their own way a new beginning.

I also like this take on the wheel. I looked up the meaning of Mektoub, and essentially it is the idea of fate, predestination, so it is written, so it will be. But yes, it fits here, the idea that larger wheels spin, things always moving and changing and sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse and you roll with it. I like the utter ridiculousness of the imagery - that sometimes things just happen and sometimes they are and you cannot explain it, cannot make logical sense of the why, why is this happening to me, it just IS this is where you ARE right now. But it's all on the back of an elephant, who moves forward, change, motion, always.

Yes, it's an interesting deck, especially the majors. Those I very much like, and there is a lot of food for thought even though they aren't very busy. The use of primary colors by and large is striking. Love the North African influence of the art. The courts...I don't quite know how I feel about those. The deck plays around with ethnicities (arabs, asians, indian, white) but there doesn't seem to fully by a rhyme or reason to it (as in, it doesn't go by the suits) and...yeah. The minors are not very illustrated or expressive...less approachable than even regular marseilles minors I'd say. I can see them giving people used to reading with illustrated minor decks trouble for sure. Actually, though, I must say I was pleasantly surprised at how well I was able to read them. Apparently my style for such is a mish-mash of relating to majors and number meanings and suit meanings and traditional rws meanings and marseille tradition meanings all wrapped together depending on context and accompanying cards and it...works for me, and makes me realize just how much I've progressed as a reader in the last few years.

So yeah, interesting deck. I like it, but I do admit its more an intellectual like than that kind of gut reaction, instinctive/intuitive type like. Will definitely work with it some more in the future. For now, going to continue with Thoth, whose awesomeness I am realizing more and more, and also, I think, with the Fey, another pretty recent acquisition of mine :]

Another go at '5 Ws and an H' exercise

So decided I felt like giving this one another try. I do like doing things with tarot that are a bit intellectually challenging, so why not giving this one another shot with a different deck. Trying to be briefer this time with my responses, perhaps?

Again, found the exercise on Zanna Starr's blog, where her directions for it are as follows:

"For the 5W's and an H exercise, we use one Tarot card to answer the questions Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How? As an additional requirement, each answer can be only one phrase or sentence. The idea is to respond intuitively, without a lot of description or explanation."

Swedish Witch Tarot - Wheel of Fortune

Who?
Someone going through some major life transition or personal transformation. Someone in the process of moving between major phases of their life, whether for the better or for the worse.

What?
A major change, a new phase of things beginning. A cycle. Rising from the ashes or falling from a pedestal. Movement, lots of movement, lows and highs. Something showy.

When?
When there are lots of changes going on, physical or mental or both. When things are moving forward, leaving the past behind. When its time to move on.

Where?
A place of movement, transition, perhaps literally so - a place of wheels, vehicles and such? A place of personal significance, where some major life change happened in the past - or, alternatively, a brand new place for a fresh new start.

Why?
No reason, randomnosity, because shit happens sometimes whether you deserve it or not. Fortune, random, chance - not justice well weighed, here. Life moves, wheel spins, sometimes you win sometimes you lose just roll with it, that's why.

How?
Quite naturally, forces will ensure that wheel spins. Out of your hands, out of your power. The change will happen, good or bad, the old will end the new will begin, unstoppable.

2012 Year Card

So, just out of idle intellectual curiosity, decided to calculate my personal year card for 2012, plus 2011 while I was at it, since that year is over now, to see how applicable it in fact was. Pretty simple really, add your day and month of birth to the year in question and voila, there be your card for that year.

It turns out that my year card for 2011 was the Wheel of Fortune - you know, the card that speaks of life's ups and downs, fortunes changing for the worse, then for the better again...in this sense, describes the year pretty well for me on a micro level. I had some really good experiences, and some really difficult times as well. Some experiences were even kind of both, in different ways. This card also speaks a lot about changes - like, major life changes - and again, as I've mentioned in previous posts here, that way very much a 2011 thing. In fact, on my personal journal I kind of wrote out a list of major things that happened in 2011 for me and yeah, there were a lot of moves, shifts, new things happening, trying or doing things for the very first time. I ended the year in a different city, in a new school, in a different job, in a different social situation, with a whole list of new things I'd done, compared to the begining of the year. Mentally too, though less drastically, I think it was a year of some shifting 'wheel-turning' as it were, so yes. I can totally see this as being an appropriate card to describe 2011, in retrospect.

Which brings us to 2012. The year card for this new year is apparently Justice.

So what exactly should I take this to mean, then? Well, Justice is really in a lot of ways a card that speaks to balance, equilibrium, getting things the way they should be and maintaining that. It's objective right, fairness - cold logic. The logic of the sword, sharp and intellectual and unyeilding. It's about deferring to yes, this the right, objectively so, rather than whatever you may feel about the matter. It's connected to society, the people around you, morals as influenced by your surroundings rather than only your own beliefs. It's about doing right - not being judged for it afterwards, really (that's Judgement) but the actual act of DOING it...Setting things right according to objective standards...

This does make a certain sense. There are areas in my life where my approach has certainly been less than balance. See, I have a remarkable ability to be very fair and understanding and empathtic towards other people, and very harsh, judgemental, illogical in my approach to myself, my own actions. There are reasons for that, which this isn't the place for getting into, but suffice to say this is an area that I could very much benefit from working on. I like the objectivity and logic aspect of this especially. I am, as I often state, and INTP. I like logic very much. Many of my actions are dictated by it, and in general I find that doing the thing I know is logical rather than the thing I feel like doing tends to be for the best. So in broad strokes - do that more. Try to bring more balance, more fairness to myself, more equilibrium into my life.

Trying to think too, what this card might mean more externally. I can't imagine it's really a reference to any legal matters, as there are none of those in my life right now (though, I guess, you never know). I suppose again, more proper balance in school, work, social relationships...

A year of...gradual, steady improvement and not too many dramatic changes or shocks, inshallah.

(Incidentally, the last time I had a Justice year was apparently 2003. I was still pretty young then, but I very much remember that as a pretty craptastic year where a lot of things went to hell, so to speak, especially personally/mentally. So uh, I suppose that was a year in which balance was in the forefront for its lack?) In any case, yeah, inshallah in 2012 there will be plenty, not dearth :]