death, change, musing

I am reminded here, of that well known fact of life - all things come to an end, eventually, a kind of death. All things appear, come to life, and then, sometimes quite quickly, die off as well. That is simply the way things are, unchangeable.

Life is full of little endings. My week working with a particular deck. I put the thing aside, grab another. A good book; I sigh and close it, remember a bit, move onto something else.

And larger - this time in Tunisia...it feels like so short now, with only a week left before I must go back; it doesn't feel like enough time. People you know, have met, who wonder into your life suddenly and then exit it again, perhaps never to be seen, existing only in memory.

And so it goes, the wheel spinning and spinning as it were. Change and death, so very much tied into each other. Nothing can stay the same for very long, unmoving, and yet to accept new developments is to necessarily allow some of the old to wither, fall away. Let the vultures feast on the remains.

So it goes. Climb out of the water and onto the rocks - or is the other way around? Yesterday we visited some more ruins - funny how close I live, here, to the remains of an ancient, burned out city, Carthage. We visited what was once the port of that place - in ancient times they considered it strategic, able to fit two hundred ships of war or trade.

Now it looks more like any lake in the countryside - filled with little boats with funny names. A old man wearing a straw hat sits across from us at the other side, fishing line in hand. Trash in the shallow parts of the water, cigarette cartons and plastic bags.

All things must and will die, change. Nothing to do but move forward, ready to see what the next stage has in store for us.

A mind like a feather perhaps, ready to float from one place to the next, light and unburdened and free to see. A mind like a feather, always ready to be picked up by a stray breeze. Ready to learn and to see.

Death comes from the sky and a wheel spins somewhere and a single feather blows away, in search of a new adventure...

comforting little deck, draws

So I haven't been updating here as much this week - haven't had much energy and too many other things to do, and the return of really really hot weather has not helped matters. Have been working a bit, since Saturday, with a fun deck little deck I bought from a member from AT, the Penguin Parade Tarot by Robyn Tisch Hollister. I got the limited, non-mini edition, and while the cardstock is...nothing to write home about/very delicate, shall we say, the size and especially the art is just lovely. There's something wonderful about playing with penguin images when your apartment is so hot you feel lightheaded...

Anyway, a few tidbits from the week so far. I haven't been doing any proper readings, just little draws here and there, and due to the fact that I think I left the booklet that goes with it in the US, it's been just intuitive takes completely. I find the messages have been a combination of quite truthful and nicely comforting...

Got this in a quick draw this morning, and what a lovely take on the 10 of cups in is. We have the two penguins leaning on each other, comfortable together, supporting each other. At their feet they have a whole pile of shells, material prosperity - not in excess, but just enough to ensure their comfort, happiness.

A reminder, I think, to keep things in perspective. As my time in Tunisia starts to draw to a close I find myself more and more stressed out by all the things I have to do when I get back, and about how much more I could have/should have gotten done while here, and all the like. Perspective - all those things are doable, none likely to really lead to disaster, and remember all the good I have, have had - remember to appreciate. A constant exercise that, positivity, appreciation even as you strive, keep working on things. Also a reminder about my outlook on returning...mostly I have been dreading it, and all the things I have to do but, on the other hand...it will be a chance to re-connect with my friends and family, at least for a bit, and that can be quite nice in and of itself.

Yesterday I had the 3 of Stones, or coins, show up. Must say, love the naturalism and the watercolor work on these cards. Anyway, yeah. Three stones for three birds. Each one can focus on it, become a specialist, yes? Or is it one bird with three stones and the others just to look on, learn? Is it better to be specialist, to focus on one thing at a time and really do the most with it, or to broaden your focus even at the cost of depth?

There are so many things  I need to, and want to, do, learn, see, engage with. It's hard for me to stay focused on any one thing for an extended length of time. And yet, without focus...how can I really get what I want out of any given things. Sometimes I try to do it all and get frustrated. Is it better to let something go, and if so what, and when, and in what way? Questions and decisions. What to nurture, then?

Perspective though - there are far worse dilemmas one could have, in life. Lovely little penguins would surely agree. And I look longingly at the ice at their feet...

the importance of small victories

Enjoying a nice, quiet day. Once again taking advantage of scanner access to get a deck digital for future blogging purposes. This card kind of...jumped out at me while I was doing that...

Got an email from my professor, earlier, with the grade and feedback for that memorandum I spent so much of last weekend driving myself nuts trying to get done. I did Well, and improved from my first memo, which itself I did not do badly on. Given how much stress and difficulty came with trying to get done, I was a bit surprised. Pleasantly so, of course.

So there's that. A useful reminder here, about small victories, about what is possible if you insist on trying no matter what. No matter how difficult things are - do not give up. Try, try, keep working at it. I love this little deck and look forward to working with it in the future. There isn't any of the traditional symbolism here: not the square shaped chariot, not the horses or the sphinxes, black and white, held tightly under the control of the charioteer's reigns. Instead we simply have the wild energy, the motion of the penguin. Is he swimming? Is he trying, despite all odds and laws of anatomy and physics, to fly? Does it even matter, when push comes to shove? I am reminded, by this card, of the importance of celebrating small victories, of taking pleasure in little accomplishments. It's too easy to discount them, to say 'well, what's the big deal,' but sometimes, the best thing for yourself is to really just say...yes, I did it, I succeeded in this one thing, and it feels nice.

Then keep moving forward. Keep swimming, or flying, or whatever it is you want to do, need to do, must do. Don't let those obstacles, no matter how big they may seem, discourage you. If you give up, the result is a certainty. If you keep trying, no matter how difficult, impossible it may feel at times...you may just surprise yourself with what you manage to achieve.