Amazing Aces: Cups

So, to continue with the favorite Aces series, we move onto the second of four - the Ace of Cups. In contrast to the Ace of Swords, which as I wrote before, tends to have that kind of dual nature - new starts but also cutting away the old, severing, the cups Ace tends to be more uniformly positive in meaning - then again, the cups suit in general, one could argue, is a more positive suit.

What does it represent in readings, this Ace? For me, it's usually about new beginnings, opportunities which will be emotionally fulfilling - things that call to your soul. It can be the beginning of a new relationship, a new friendship or romance; it can be the start of, or an addition to, a family. Good feelings, intuitive growth, taking things to a new level with something or someone you care for. So which decks, from my current collection, do I feel represent these ideas best?

Swedish Witch

I really like how the Swedish Witch tarot presents this Ace. Like the rest of this deck, the card's artwork is rich with symbolism, without seeming overly-cluttered or busy. It takes the traditional Ace image of the large cup and really spices it up with a lush background - pond with reeds and lily pads, frogs and fish and colorful birds, even a mermaid sitting at the base of the cup. You get the sense of a warm, comfortable, nurturing environment. It's an ecosystem, symbiotic, natural, everything coming together, each creature with its own niche in the grand scheme of things.

The sun rising up out of the cup really shows the positive energy that the ace often represents, the light that these kinds of opportunities can bring into your life. In the unicorn that decorates the cup, I see just a bit of whimsy, a bit of the fantastical - permission to let yourself dream, to let your fancies take you wear they might, to let your guard down and simply enjoy what's here in front of you today. 

Victorian Romantic

The Victorian Romantic's take on this ace is another firm favorite, taking a rather different approach to the card. One of the things I really enjoy about this deck is the balance it strikes between maintaining a firm RWS influence while having enough of an original aspect to each of the cards that there is plenty to read in the images without resorting to purely standard meanings. Here, we have a lovely picture - the artwork itself is just incredible - of two nude figures meeting under water. One sits in the shell, the other meets her from above, bathed in a shaft of sunlight.

Is he approaching or being pulled away? It's a bit hard to tell, open to interpretation. The bond though, the strength of their connection, is obvious. They are willing to overcome obstacles, the pull of the waves, to meet. If this is a beginning, what will follow? The possibilities are many. In their nudity, they allow themselves to be vulnerable, to see each other as they really are. The old-style natural body shapes here a welcome relief from too many decks with too-perfect slim and tones and bustily presented forms. The color palette is incredible.

Golden Tarot of Klimt

Finally, we have an ace from the Golden Tarot of Klimt. Unlike the others, there is no elemental symbolism in this card, or in the minors of the suit generally. The color palette too, is rather different. Usually I like my Aces to be watery, so why pick this one? Honestly, I though the image we are presented here was perfect, conceptually. What's interesting about this deck is how both this card and the two of cups have couples. But whereas in the latter the couple in naked, familiar, intimate, embracing each other in what seems to be a time of distress, here we have a picture of the relationship at its beginning.

Here the couple, though firmly drawn to each other, is still at the start of things. They are dressed rather formally, as if for show. Their embrace is likewise proper, with a certain element of stiffness, distance - they aren't yet, in spite of their developing feelings, quite comfortable together. And there are the roses everywhere, beautiful, tokens often given at the start of courting. They still mean something, here. Later, simply a touch, the presence of the other would be enough. There is potential, still undeveloped, here. The relationship can grow, like a well-tended rosebush; or wither, a plant neglected. 

"fake it till you make it" / personal responsibility

So one last daily draw to type up before I switch off decks again. This one is really from yesterday, but it's been bouncing around in my head since I saw the cards so figured it was the one worth writing about.

We have here a rather interesting juxtaposition of the Page of Wands and the Three of Swords. We have in the first a youth, putting himself out there, innocent, inexperienced but confident in his abilities - at least enough so to want to prove himself, to gain external validation; and indeed, a rather impressive young lad he is. In the other card we have a woman, older, worn down by life, suffering. Crying with grief or frustration or just plain for-no-particular-reason sadness. What strikes me here is both the isolation - the way she seems to be hiding deliberately behind a cliff so that no one will witness her pain - and the dog, a loyal companion, a constant source of comfort even in the most difficult times.

Put together, these two cards paint a picture I find especially familiar. Thinking about the draw, it also helps me realize better the real source of some of my current frustrations, not-too-serious though they may be. In particular, I find myself recently getting inordinately annoyed hearing a few particular people make excuses, again and again, for their own poor behavior or failure to fulfill certain responsibilities. To me, there are explanations, which may or may not be relevant and even worth getting into, but very rarely do those truly amount to being excuses. This is a pretty well understood idea, but it doesn't in and of itself explain why I get so EMOTIONALLY frustrated in such situations, especially when the excuses weren't even directed (or directly effecting) ME.

Looking at these cards though, I see a lot of myself and how I tend (and try) to operate in them. To me, the things you must do are a long list, and whether you consciously realize it or not, you do prioritize them. Although I definitely do have an ongoing issue (that I AM trying to work on, if to very varying degrees of success) with not getting many of them done... the ones I have the most trouble with are the ones that, for whatever reason, de-facto aren't the highest priority. The things I really prioritize - doing all my schoolwork, getting reading and assignments done, showing up and performing adequately at any job I may have, paying my bills on time, etc - those DO get done, regardless of difficulties I may be having. And even though I don't like to get into too much detail here...sometimes difficulties can feel...very intense and difficult indeed.

Sometimes these two cards are exactly how I feel. Inside despair, frustration, perhaps physical pain I am trying to ignore, hopelessness. Outside I smile and go about my day trying to get the things I NEED to get done, trying not to seem like a downer because its not fair to other people to take out my personal issues on them, or on our interactions. I remember once, years ago, literally having to leave a class to go to the restroom, have some kind of anxiety/panic attack for a few minutes, then returning and quite normally participating actively in an intellectual/academic discussion on the subject matter, as if nothing was wrong at all. And so on and so forth. Sometimes, or often, you may not FEEL like acting like the page at all and yet...there it is in front of you, the need to do so, to at least try...

And in my experience, I guess, regardless of how busy, hungry, sleep-deprived, or distressed you are...the top two or three important things, your strongest priorities CAN get done, if you are determined enough. Which is why I don't like making excuses for myself - if I didn't get something done, regardless of the circumstances, at a fundamental level, it wasn't the highest priority for me. I could have prioritized it better, organized my actions differently, and I didn't, and that is MY responsibility. The best I can do is to sincerely apologize and politely ask for generosity/patience of whoever my unfulfilled obligation was with. Hearing others do otherwise...

But of course, judging other people is a pointless exercise that can only contribute to your own inner negativity. Enough things in my own life and actions to get upset about, no need to add others to that if I don't need to. So going to work on letting go of those unnecessary feelings, and focusing instead on being more responsible in my own life with getting things done.

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These weeks with the Victorian Romantic have been GREAT, I must say. The deck has lovely cardstock that's a true pleasure to shuffle, and the readings I've been getting have been quite awesomely deep. There's so much to plumb in the rich imagery of this deck. Looking forward to working with it again in the future!

concrete/material focus

Ace of Pentacles and the Magician came up in today's draw. Interesting juxtaposition here, I think, in between the Ace, where the woman, though surrounded by nature and green and such 'earthy' symbols, is literally floating in the air, and the Magician, where the old man is rather firmly and comfortably seated in his study, surrounded by books, relics of arcane study, the like. Both of these cards talk about the mundane, material, concrete world, though they use rather different visual metaphors.

Being an Ace, I see the first card as speaking of beginning, of taking some concrete action, of working on getting some momentum going. The woman has her arms open, as if ready to embrace something new. The flowers below her and the coin in her grasp suggest that the focus of this should be in the worldly rather than the intellectual realm. And indeed, I have been...largely focused on the intellectual the last few days. Reading a few biographies, getting a bit more in the groove of working with cards, studying and studying the Arabic. Which is all fine and good, of course, but I finally actually got to organizing myself properly with a To Do List (for me QUITE helpful to actually getting things done) and it made me realize just how many more concrete things, both smaller (ie. clean out my bag) and larger (ie. bank stuff, resume stuff, loan stuff) I've been avoiding or putting off doing.

The Magician of course, can represent all kinds of concerns, but given the nature of the image here, and the pairing with this Ace, I see it as a reinforcement of the need to focus a bit on these things today as well. The Magician is, of course, very much too about personal will, motivation, ambition, and a reminder that as difficult or tedious as some of these tasks may seem, they are certainly within my power to get done if I put my mind to it.

So yes, obviously getting everything done in one day is unlikely, but the goal is definitely to get at least a few things crossed off of that list o' mine...

non-celebration

So I find this to be a rather interesting take on the four of cups. Usually with this card you havea a figure that, in addition to being clearly dissatisfied or bored in some way, is also clearly physically alone. In that way, the focus is very much not on the environment but rather on the self, the thoughts and approach, attitude: why are you unhappy just now? What are you doing about it? What can you change, either about the situation or about your thinking, to fix that?

But in this card, I see a reminder that sometimes, unhappiness, discomfort, boredom etc. really are situational. For me, large social gatherings, and specifically parties like the one pictured here, will ALWAYS elicit such negative feelings in my - which is why I avoid them whenever possible. In fact, I really, really identify with the man in this image: surrounded by people having fun, the ladies drinking and trying to engage him, and feeling not at all amused, quite rather alone in spite of all of it, and perhaps even rather overwhelmed. The expectation that you should be 'enjoying yourself' which you are unable to fulfill. The desire to run away, to hide somewhere quiet - away from the music, the noise, the people - and just read or something.

All of this reminds me that today is in fact the fourth of July - back in the US, my least favorite of all the holidays. The celebrations that go with this tend to be particularly unpleasant for me - outdoors, which means lots of bugs, and often BBQ style cookouts which...I have never liked that type of food to begin with, and as a vegan, having to stand around and deal with the smell of cooking meat...

Yes, this card is a lovely reminder of what I am missing today with my stay in Tunisia: no expectations for joining in on holiday celebrations I would much rather avoid. Instead I can continue my studying, reading the book I just started, perhaps finally organizing myself with the more long-term things I need to be doing, perhaps another long walk.

A VRR Story Time

Realized that I haven't done one of these in quite a bit so...why not. Here goes an attempt at the three card draw story exercise with the lovely Victorian Romantic Russian.

There was a woman once, no longer young but not yet into her older years. She had worked in many jobs over the years, from the odd to the quite rather mundane. Nothing held her attention for very long, however, and unlike most this woman preferred uncertainty and even a bit of danger to simply continuing on with something unsatisfying but familiar. Most recently the woman had found work acting as a fool in small troupe of performers. She wore a costume that obscured her gender, her face, all the details of her true identity. She acted and made people laugh, worked with a little dog that belonged to the leader of the group. It was altogether a different experience to be both on stage and utterly obscured, and at first, the woman plunged right into her new work.

The group soon came to the attention of a the local Lord, and then gained the favor of him and his family. Now they had steady work, scheduled, and larger audiences. They had to practice more, make up new routines, dress up in more complex outfits. The woman didn't like the pressure of this new arrangement, the commitment it seemed to necessitate from them all. She didn't like to be boxed in so. She began to take long sulky walks during the day before performances. She went in regular clothes, unrecognizable, through the gardens of her troupe's patron, sometimes straying into the the adjacent forests. On one such walk, lost in her thoughts, the woman met a man - if he could be called that - standing in a large field of many-colored flowers.

In truth this man was a fairy, a sort of forest spirit. Like the woman, this fairy man had grown tired of his own surroundings. Ennui drove him to approach her, and she, always curious rather than cautious about the unknown, soon opened her life to him and described her troubles. "It is that noble lord that keeps you stuck in that position. A creature like you shouldn't work - you should be admired!" he declared, after hearing her. "I will fix this!" he then declared, and sprinted off before the woman's mind even had time to make sense of his words, and realize that she didn't like them, or the ideas they were based on. It was too late to argue however, for the man, magical as she was not, had left her far behind. Alone, she walked back to the town and her troupe, a sense of dread filling her as she drew closer. Once she arrived, the woman discovered to her horror that the fairy had simply slaughtered the nobleman's entire family, and anyone else who had tried to protect him or who happened to get in the way of the fairy's sword. Paralyzed with horror and guilt, the woman again did not see until it was far too late that the fairy was now charging towards her. And so he carried her off, heedless of all cries and protests.

It was years before the fairy grew bored and the woman managed to escape his clutches.

birthday message

So yes, four and twenty I now am, it would seem.

Decided to do a birthday reading. First a card with a single message in and of itself, then a bit longer and more complex going into detail spread for myself, which I shall keep to myself got now, methinks.

But for that first, general message, this card came up. The wheel of fortune. Both as a reflection of the last year and as advice/perspective for times ahead, I think the message here is quite apt.

The world - your world - is always moving, spinning, changing. Nothing stays the same. You change, and so do the people around you, and your circumstances. Everything that has a beginning has an end. When something is particularly enjoyable, great, its good to both make the most of it in the moment, and to remember that it will not - cannot - last forever. Enjoy, but don't cling too much when it goes; don't spend too much energy on disappointment or that melancholy type of nostalgia once it is over. Instead just move on, seek new things. There are ALWAYS new things to be discovered, explored, made the most of.

Similarly, when things are at a low point, it's worth keeping in mind that this, too, will not last forever. Things will improve, even if slowly, bit by bit. Even if only temporarily. You mind find an opportunity when you least expect it, or from a direction you hadn't even considered. Best way to make sure you can see it and grasp it is to keep an open mind, and open eye.

Be flexible. Roll with the changes that make come. One day you might be a poor seller of birds; the next day the heir to the throne; later on, one of those same birds, in need of rescuing. So it goes. So the world spins. Spin with it. See where it takes you. All things begin and all things end and all things change and there is no use in anything but accepting what changes may come.

Reinforcing the message

Sometimes I read about specific issues, or with specific focuses, or using specific exercises in mind. Other times though, I find it interesting to just draw cards with absolutely no questions or ideas in mind, and just see what pops up. I trend I notice with that is that...the cards tend to return to the same themes, the same ideas that I apparently need to hear. This holds true even when I switch decks - and apparently, mediums.

I wrote about Attitude Adjustment a little while ago, while on the trip to the south of the country. To be honest, while it HAS been on my mind, as I've settled into a more regular routine here in Tunis...well, let's just say it's always easier to settle back into old/established thought/action patterns than it is to really do the work of creating new ones. Which isn't to say I've failed utterly at this just....not doing as much as I could be. Anyway, part of yesterdays random/daily draws with my VRR, and then this mornings on-a-whim work with the Arcana Stones really kind of caught my attention/amused me...

ANOTHER version of the Ace of Swords card, this time coming up as a 'shadow card' in a more day-centered draw, reminding me of the general theme of new thinking, learning to approach things better, etc. that I SHOULD be keeping in mind. I love the image there, the fairy girl on the cliff, sitting, perhaps resting but perhaps procrastinating/hesitating, and the flying bird to show her the way off, into the new...

In this morning's random arcana stones throw we have the mother of pearl stone, representing the Moon card, landing in the 12th House...the house of limitation, seclusion, self-undoing. Letting my more negative thoughts, letting uncertainty and mental confusion/chaos and things I KNOW I shouldn't be listening to in my head limit/get to me... We also have the mahogany obsidian stone, representing Death card, landing in the 8th house - the house of changes, endings and beginnings....a doubly emphasized message if I've ever seen one. These two stones taken together pretty much seem synonymous with that Ace of Swords card there and....yeah.

Echoing messages. Good to pay them mind, methinks...

owning your difference

So first of all - over the last few months, though I've been working with a number of decks, quite a bit of my tarot has been with the Thoth. I usually don't work with a single deck for so long, but I really connected with that one. I think it's time, now, for me to put reading/study of that deck aside for a bit. Since I have been having less time for Tarot here in Tunisia generally, going to shift to really working with only one deck at a time, for a week or two at a time.

This week I've started with my Russian Victorian Romantic. Even though it's only my second day with it, I'm already reminded of why this deck is so high up on my favorites - each draw I've done so far has been insightful, relevant, deeply evocative...

Today, part of a larger spread was these two cards. In the first, the seven of wands, we see a man with a bayonet in his grasp, clearly at odds with the rest of the world. Sometimes, I think, this card really can stand for outright confrontation, but it can also just recall a more general 'me vs. the world feeling': the feeling of not belonging, of being an outside, the 'other' - of always having your hackles up because on some level, if the questions is 'with' or 'against', you would not fall into the 'with' category...

Sometimes the not belonging feeling is more general, more dramatic, and clearer. What comes to mind for me right now, of course, is the experience of living in a foreign country, and especially a country where the language, culture, and general standards of living are significantly different from what you are used to. To a degree, I suppose, vacation/tourism type travel gives you a taste of that feeling, but those trips tend to be shorter...the difference you feel is fleetingly exotic, daily activities often planned, and [for more middle class of higher type trips at least] the accommodations and amenities are very much arranged to maximize your sense of familiarity and comfort.

I've traveled abroad in the past, but before there was always at least some degree of that...traveling in a group, staying in hotels, or traveling alone but visiting family, or traveling with family, etc. Here, I am staying in a regular apartment in a middle class neighborhood in a suburb of Tunis. I take the public train to my language school, or when I want to explore, and taxis to places that are more difficult to get to. I walk. I shop for groceries at the corner store or the weekly trip to the large Carrefour, the equivalent of a Walmart here. My french is rusty but enough to mostly get by, and my arabic is improving but since I'm not learning the Tunisian dialect really, and Egpytian dialect is quite different from Tunisian, it's of limited use in conversation, and while between their English and my French and Arabic I can usually communicate whatever I need well enough...the pervasive sense of being an outsider, a foreigner, strange, limited by language, by ignorance of so much...it makes you see, experience the world in a different way.

Of course, there are more intimate and personal forms of otherness too. I've always been a bit of an oddball, from about as early in childhood as I can remember. My mind just jumps to different thought patterns, conclusions, observations, than those of most people. I enjoy different things, and interested differently. Even my speech tends to be...different.

I realized early on that pretending to be someone I am not to try to 'fit in' was never going to work or be worth the cost, and much of the work I've had to do around getting the most out of life has been about...owning that. About doing what I want to do, even if no one around me really understands why. About becoming comfortable with my own company, with doing things by myself. With feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Self-confidence is definitely something I still struggle with, in many contexts. I think this queen of wands really does offer some worthwhile guidance, though. Like the man in the 7 of wands she is alone. But she doesn't see it as a conflict, a problem, a reason to feel stressed or uncomfortable or attacked. No, she simply focuses on herself, on her own thoughts, capabilities. The difference that attitude alone makes, in these two images, is striking.

Of course, self-confidence isn't a magic cure to all the difficulties life can throw our way, but coupled with some flexibility, some empathy, a bit of creativity...it can help us get far indeed. So many limitations that people face are at least somewhat self-imposed. Here in Tunisia, I watch some of classmates or roommates, whose language skills aren't that much higher than my own (if at all) have much more extended conversations simply because they don't doubt themselves the way that I tend to.

Being comfortable with yourself - all of yourself - can really make so much of a difference in the way you interact with the world. And if the person that you are is just plain unusual, so what?

Here in Tunisia, there are many things to enjoy about the unfamiliar - like the random herd of goats that sometimes wanders around my neighborhood...

My Favorite Majors: The Hermit

Well, considering that I am a lifelong introspective introvert and frequent spender of the alone-time, it is perhaps not surprising that I have always felt a connection with the Hermit major, in ways both positive and negative. Have spent a good bit of time pondering the meanings of it over the years of working with tarot. It's another one of those cards that's handled in rather interesting ways in various decks, and so again it took a bit of consideration to settle on exactly which takes on the concept among my decks are ultimately the favorites...

IX. Hermit

Favorite:

What is there not to love in the Victorian Romantic (Russian, in my case) tarot's take on the Hermit? Visually, the image is just so beautiful and lush. I love the composition and use of color. I love the nature setting, the quiet and peaceful feel of the environment. You can almost feel yourself inside of that image, sitting besides the Hermit on those mossy rocks, meditating about something deep and personal as you stare out into that water...it makes me think of spring, of going out and finding new things, of those times when, just as the concept of this card speaks of, you really do need to just get away and be alone for a while. The hermit in the image looks very hermit-like too, old and wise and well traveled. Love that he's still holding the hour glass lantern and his...well, honestly I'm not sure if that is his walking stick, but it could be and it looks apt. Actually I even quite like that he is sitting down in this image. So often decks have him walking, yet sometimes what you really need is to just sit down and THINK, unmoving for however long...  I could go on and on, ha. This card REALLY draws me in, strikes a cord. And so pretty...

Runner Up:
Like so many other cards in the Sun and Moon deck, the Hermit is a pretty simple, minimalistic take on the image that I really enjoy - straight to the point, the heart of things. I quite like that he is standing in front of what appears to be a sandstone wall with an Om symbol and what looks like a bunch of other sanskrit writing. It really gives a sense of timelessness to the card, a reminder that the kind of wisdom we seek in this card is the same kind of wisdom people have sought for millenia, and that there is so much knowledge from so many different ages and traditions and cultures that we can draw on if we take the time. Speaking of which, I also really dig the Hermit figure himself...brown skinned, white hair in long dreads, clothing you can't quite place with any one culture...I love how multicultural and inclusive this deck is and how natural and un-forced that feels. The deck's facelessness really works for me with this card too.

My Favorite Majors: The High Priestess

So, on to the third of the majors, then. In many ways, the High Priestess is for me quite the opposite of the Magician - visually, its often on of the most striking cards in the deck, a card I check out almost as soon as I open a new deck. Many, many decks I have include a high priestess card I quite like. But in readings...this one is often tricky. I sometimes still struggle to make sense of it in context.

I guess, really, my relationship with these cards is very much connected to the meanings...the Magician I understand intellectually. I can look at a card an appreciate how the symbolism connects with the meaning, explain various aspects of the card, analyze, synthesize, etc etc. With the High Priestess...visually, intuitively, instinctively I KNOW what this card is about, but when I try to organize those thoughts into words I...struggle. Resort to keywords, base meaning because...it's harder, to really...quantify a gut level feeling.

For that reason, my explanations for these favorites will be briefer, I think. My favorite High Priestess cards are very much cards that just...I look at them and say Yes, Yes this is IT exactly.


II. High Priestess

  

Favorite:

Again, I must refer to the Sun and Moon tarot. That deck really just is full of delight for me. This High Priestess...It's just perfect, as far as my conception of this major is concerned. It has the basic traditional symbolism...the book, the pillars, the water of intuition swirling at her feet. I love the gauzy dress, and the facelessness really adds to the effect of the card for me. But the dusky background is what seals the deal. I just love love love the black silhouetted palms and the crescent moon against that beautiful purple-pink dusk and...yeah. This card really speaks to me.

Runner Up: 

I'm trying very hard to be disciplined with this favorites exercise and really stick to one favorite and one runner up for each of the majors, but in this case...I really just couldn't choose. These two are quite different - the Victorian Romantic (Russian, in my case, but same image) has a well, romantic mystery to her, with the roman columns and the smoke and just such a...classy old world feel to it. Whereas the Druidcraft...so primal, ancient, spooky even (the eyes...) and yet so appropriate. I just can't choose between them as a runner up.

So yeah, in this case, the basics stick to traditional, but visually, instinctively these cards just speak to me.

And in the future I will try to stick to the only two cards rule better :]