So decided to harken back a bit to the memory exercises I did on this blog more a few months ago...
Looking at this card literally, I am reminded of the gardening my parents used to make me help with when I was younger. Occasionally I still do, when I am visiting or staying with them and they ask, and I really do try to be good-natured about it because it's the least I could do to help them out like this but...when it comes down to it, I just really, really do not like gardening.
When I was a younger, of course, I had both less perspective and less self-control and so my participation in family gardening activities was filled with a good bit more whining and are we done yet and can I go inside yet and I hate all these bugs and its hot and I feel itchy and why do I have to be out here can't I do some indoor house work instead?
See, in a very literal way, I've always rather sympathized with the figure in this card-image. All that work and is it worth it? I guess it depends. The cucumbers and tomatoes that grow in my mothers garden are quite delicious. She makes this salad, just tomatoes and sweet onions, sliced and chopped, with vinegar, salt and pepper, served cold. It's quite delicious. But is it worth the effort if the actual work is something you deeply don't enjoy at all? Left to my own devices, I can't see myself ever cultivating a garden, much as I enjoy the beauty of flowers, and much as I love eating fruits and vegetables.
Other times though, when the work itself is something we can find pleasure in, it can indeed be worth the effort to cultivate a more metaphorical garden, even if we aren't sure what may grow from it, or how long it might take to see those fruits. Have been feeling a bit dissatisfied/blah about things lately, mostly because there are just so many uncertainties and questions when I try to look at things from a wider, more-long term perspective.
Sometimes perhaps, it is just good to remember that if the work itself is objectively productive, and you enjoy doing it - or at the very least, don't hate the experience - worth it to carry on, staying in the moment, not letting the bigger questions cause unnecessary worry prematurely. Trying to keep that in mind...
When I was a younger, of course, I had both less perspective and less self-control and so my participation in family gardening activities was filled with a good bit more whining and are we done yet and can I go inside yet and I hate all these bugs and its hot and I feel itchy and why do I have to be out here can't I do some indoor house work instead?
See, in a very literal way, I've always rather sympathized with the figure in this card-image. All that work and is it worth it? I guess it depends. The cucumbers and tomatoes that grow in my mothers garden are quite delicious. She makes this salad, just tomatoes and sweet onions, sliced and chopped, with vinegar, salt and pepper, served cold. It's quite delicious. But is it worth the effort if the actual work is something you deeply don't enjoy at all? Left to my own devices, I can't see myself ever cultivating a garden, much as I enjoy the beauty of flowers, and much as I love eating fruits and vegetables.
Other times though, when the work itself is something we can find pleasure in, it can indeed be worth the effort to cultivate a more metaphorical garden, even if we aren't sure what may grow from it, or how long it might take to see those fruits. Have been feeling a bit dissatisfied/blah about things lately, mostly because there are just so many uncertainties and questions when I try to look at things from a wider, more-long term perspective.
Sometimes perhaps, it is just good to remember that if the work itself is objectively productive, and you enjoy doing it - or at the very least, don't hate the experience - worth it to carry on, staying in the moment, not letting the bigger questions cause unnecessary worry prematurely. Trying to keep that in mind...
2 comments:
well said. If our heart isn't really in it, best to serve in another area...
I'm so with you on the gardening thing. I went to an ashram once, and two days in a row they put me to gardening as my karma yoga, on my own to boot :( I'd rather wash dishes, or do laundry, or many other things. It wasn't the serving the community I didn't like, I volunteer regularly. It was just the gardening!
Still, I loved your phrase about cultivating a more metaphorical garden, that brought beautiful pictures to my mind...
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