Deck comparison, Three-Fold

So a while ago I asked for suggestions to do a deck comparison type post series on. I've not forgotten about it, and decided to start off with a couple of posts following up on an idea posted by thesycamoretree: something Thothy, something RWSy, and something Else. These will be done purely by my own intuitive readings, with no reference material. Why? Because anyone can look up the difference in these decks as written down in books, so why read me rehashing the same thing?

To start off with, why not begin with the actual Thoth and RWS (Smith Centennial ed., in my case) and add the Mary-El to that mix? 
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Starting off with my favorite of these, the Thoth. Here, the King has been transformed into a Knight - less the superior to the Queen than her equal, and more dynamic a concept than the King image. It can be confusing at first, but I find with this in particular its best to just roll with it, is what it is, and onwards.

The Knight of Cups rides his horse, a pure white pegasus, symbols of god and of purity and power. He rides it upwards, away, showing the kind of optimistic ambition that can be associated with this card. Take that too far and you have escape into unreality, escape into dreams, escapism into the cup or so many similar things. Here, more positively, he rides above the wild wave, controlled in his motion so that they do not touch him. Just sketched into one of these waves we can see a peacock: so much show, and isn't it true? Doesn't he grave the applause just a bit? Emotionally he does, for reassurance rather than ego perhaps, but nonetheless.

Emotional energy as power here: the glowing of the cancer crab in the cup, the wings that sprout out of his back. His armor is green, like the suit of the Fool: optimist, faithful, ready to push forward into the unknown anew, but perhaps sometimes less than fully aware of what he should be aware of. His strength is his heart, his connection to others. His horse looks back towards him, ready for the next command, ready to work together brilliantly, as they are wont to. The image scheme here (weird yellow tint of the digital image aside) is largely blue and white, appropriate for the pinnacle of the watery suit, and bringing out the contrast of the armor and the cup even more.

In contrast, the figure in the classic RWS is far more sedate. He sits on his throne, dressed primarily in blue es well. Waves surround this seat, and we can see him holding a cup in one hand, a lotus shaped scepter in the next. We see fish and a ship, just barely, in the water behind him. The ship for movement and fortune (it takes money to launch one, after all) the fish for bounty perhaps?

Looking at this card I am reminded of how, so often, people say that the courts are the hardest of the tarot deck to read. If one is talking about the RWS, I cannot say that I much disagree. We have a king on a throne, facing towards the right, holding a cup and sitting still. He looks comfortable there, I suppose. I cannot say that, from image alone and without my knowledge of memorized meanings, I can get much from this card. This is in major contrast to the Thoth's, where I am struck immediately by all the details and could go on and on about it for ages. This one evokes...nothing. I have to go back to what I 'know' this card to mean.

Color-wise, it is a nice scheme, blues and greens with just a bit of red makes a nice contrast, and I do quite enjoy the muted palette of the centennial edition.

Lastly, we have the Mary-El king. This deck dances to its own tune, its own internal scheme and ideas which are not necessarily drawn directly from either major tarot tradition. The deck creator had very specific meanings for the imagery in mind, but they don't jive with me, so I use my own take.

Immediately, I am struck by the composition of this card. I am reminded of the famous painting of Ophelia, drowned. Like this king she lay half-submerged in water, surrounded by lily pads, flowers. There are many things a king of cups can drown himself in, should the darker aspects of his nature overwhelm. But there is a different here, between this king and the girl: the trident. Poseidon carried a trident, in mythology, a tool through which to channel his godly might, and his symbol.

He does not drown, does not die, merely floats. Perhaps indeed this is merely a swim in the water, a moment of relaxation, a return to easier, less complicated times. Not all escapism must be destructive or dangerous. Sometimes a long bath or vigorous swim is just what we need to take our minds off of too stressful things, to get back the perspective we need.

The nudity of the King also works for me. It general nudity can signify great strength or great vulnerability. This king can exemplify both, at different times. A different take here, on the water element aspects of the card than in the others, but comes through loud and clear nonetheless.

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The message of the day then: to move towards what you want, and do not be afraid to let yourself move forward with optimism, or to take a but of a break for distraction - but do not let that distraction take over to the point of causing vulnerability, weakness.

balance of a king

Still hanging out with my most favorite comfort deck. Here's a quick little reading, asking for advice that I did for myself earlier today, while on the way to an internship interview (which I think went well..)

Not very surprisingly, the first card that comes up is the two of swords. A message of balance here, and strength even in the face of the unknown and uncertain. The lady here keeps holding those two swords up, both raised exactly to the same degree, in spite of that blindfold.

Which is to say, of course, that interviewing for any kind of professional opportunity is very often full of unknowns: what they really think of you, what they think of the other applicants, what they are ultimately deciding based on, what working there would even be like, etc. It's easy to be overenthusiastic or too apprehensive, easy to get overly nervous. For me too, it's easy to feel like you are in the position of powerlessness in such a situation: THEY are judging you, deciding your fate in this regard, you are the little maybe-worker monkey, aiming to please...

The second card reinforces that this too, is in fact an aspect of the whole thing where balance is needed. It reminds me of some advice an aquaintance shared with me not too long ago, about how ideally interviewing is a two way process: you too, are deciding whether going with their position is worth your while. When they ask you if you have questions, the best reply in not some formulaic why I would be a great worker in disguise type question, but you wanting to know: how does your organization fit my goals, skills, career plans.

Of course that's ideal. When you are desperately in need of any kind of income...well. But in my case, I am interviewing for internships, most of them unpaid. Yes, I need the professional experience on my resume, but they are getting my time, intellectual abilities, skills, experience, all of that for free. Not so much a position of powerlessness.

So speak to them as equals, have confidence. Other cards could also denote confidence, personal power, but with the king that first aspect in particular comes across deliberately strong. This king has power, and energy, momentum. He grips the staff, ready for action. He is not desperate, or terribly afraid of being judged and found lacking - he's doing some judging of his own. Things swing in both directions: yes, balance.

Going for it - does make sense

Bit of an unintended break again I guess. What can I say? Not enough mental energy, too many things that need doing, prioritization...
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Anyway, back with a quick and dirty reading I just did for myself using my most favorite tarot deck. I got an email today about a TA opportunity with a professor I really like. Torn between wanting to apply and intense uncertainty/apprehensiveness, so decided to see what the cards had to say to me.

Drew three cards in a single horizontal line, no specific positions, plus one 'theme' card. This is one of those decks where using reversals still makes sense to me.

10 of Wands, Reversed
On the far left of the line, this card seems to speak to where I am coming from in this situation. Reversed, I see here a lack of the intense burdens depicted in the image: arms not full of far too many sticks, responsibilities, obligations.

The TA position would be for summer and fall, and as of now I have no concrete plans for the summer. In the fall, in stark contrast to my usual status quo, I will only have a thesis to write and a comprehensive exam to take, and hopefully Arabic classes - important things, yes, but far less of a busy schedule than I am used to. In other words, taking this on would not be over-burdening myself, but rather the opposite - I have the perfect schedule for it. It would be doable, without too much stress.

King of Swords
The King was on the far right of the three-card line, but structurally it made sense to read both outer cards before moving onto the center. Here we have the strong, precise, disciplined king. A person who is sure of his capabilities, a person who can focus on what he wants to achieve, who can make decisions rationally, using logic and hard-gained wisdom.

And what do reason and logic say, in this situation? Do I have the ability to carry out the responsibilities of the job? Without a doubt. Would I enjoy working for this particular professor? Without a doubt. Have I anything to lose really, by applying? Not at all.

The World
At the center of the reading line we have the World card, representing completing, a closed circle, achievement and satisfaction. She is dynamic, dancing within her wreath.

Perhaps applying will actually work out for me. Perhaps I will get this position and enjoy the work. Perhaps not. Even so, I will know that I actually went through with it, did what I know I should do and applied, tried, made a step forward. I took action, and there is some satisfaction in that knowledge too. In any case, it can only work out for the best to give it a shot, this card would say.

Thematic: 8 of Coins
Lastly, drawn from the bottom of the deck, we have a theme card, by version of what others would call the 'shadow card' or whatnot. What unites this reading, the three previous draws, the overall message?

We have a man in his workshop, which here is outdoors, in the fresh air. He works on his craft, his creation, completly absorbed in it. He is productive and he is doing what he loves. What more is there to say? I value productivity more than just about anything else in my own life, and just about everything that this would involve would be tasks I enjoy doing. Even if I don't get anywhere, applying is spending my time productively, another sticker on my calendar, a small success.

Sometimes its the little things in life that keep you going.

kings and knights and pondering technology

In a quite distinctly modern take on the King of Swords, we have the man piloting what looks to be a fighter jet of some sort. I say that based solely, of course, on my experiences in the Smithsonian Air and Space museum. One thing I love about DC is that there are so many completely free museums...

But yes, planes, jets, bombers. It's amazing when you think of it, how rapidly aerial technology developed. We spent thousands of years never more than dreaming of flight, and then suddenly two brothers put together a flimsy contraption that manages to take off and stay in the air. Less than two decades later planes are being used in the first world war, with stunningly high casualties for pilots. Scouting missions at first, but well...someone gets the bright idea of shooting from the plane and then everyone does it and then there is bombing, gassing, machine guns mounted on. By the second world war they are made of cold metal, different types, models worked by nascent air forces, day and night bombing, the blitz, firebombings that kill so many millions in certain cities, nuclear bombs dropped too... Now we have drones, man-less aerial craft that can go across borders, spy and kill who knows what and where and why...

Isn't he all about precision, focus, this King?  Isn't he all about coldly judging what to do, using logic, and getting it done? Efficiency, detachment.

And quite similar to the Thoth knight he is too - the same armor but now of course it is a shirt with a modern decal. Instead of the golden steed we have the jet, its windows tinted yellow, the screen in front of the knight so that he may measure, analyze, target. No more need for extended daggers and swords. Now you point and click and things are destroyed, accomplished, undone.

Now you point and click. It boggles my mind, how much of a pain focused, graduate-level academic research must have been before the advent of computers. I have a topic and I type a few words into some search engines and pull up numerous articles going back decades, pull up a list of relevant books, many of which have the parts I need available on google books, others downloadable, or easy to reserve so I only have to stop by the front desk of the library. I can pull up newspaper articles from any number of publications. I can even find documentaries in other languages, programs from the National TV station of Algeria and from Al-Jazeera, and sit back and watch. All of this in a single afternoon, and save everything that looks relevant to my oh-so-easily-searchable gmail account, and voila the bulk of the legwork for an important project is taken care of, to be continued at my leisure.

The same spirit and drive this knight has, in both depictions, and the same goals and purpose. But means change, presentation changes, even attitudes change. Technology does have its drawbacks and I think many of them have more to do with attitudes it engenders than anything else. Why memorize when you can always look up, right? And yes, in many ways memorization is not efficient these days but stretch the brain muscles it does in interesting ways, to be able to recite things at length from memory, lists of names and poems. Even worse is the way so many people use computers and tablets and such in class. I've tried it both ways, and granted, my note-taking is always questionable - but my mad doodling helps me think, and more importantly paper and pen do not offer nearly as much opportunity for distraction and shortcuts which undermine learning processes. I had a classmate in Tunisia who would look up words while speaking in class on google translate, his laptop always open, and yes so you never search for a word but you also never remember the ones you use afterwards.

But so it goes and so everyone chooses for themselves how to use the tools they have, and in many ways, if you are like the king of swords...there is so much you can do with it. There is so much possibility. You can fly so fast and so unimagineably far. Goggles and gloves and glittering wings; even with so much power, he still enjoys the experience, the forward momentum of his ability.

card-based musing on memory, the world

I wanted to do another memory exercise but when I look at this card it elicits not so much a single kind of memory to write about so much as...snippets and thoughts about various things...
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The fields in the background here catch my eye. As a person who has always lived in cities, the shape and color of fields has always intrigued me - probably because I'm not familiar with the practical, mundane reasons behind why they are the way they are. I remember being on planes landing and taking off. In Germany and Poland especially, at that time of year at least, many fields like that, growing smaller and smaller as your rise up into the sky. The last time I was actually close to some fields was in Tunisia, that day our Arabic teacher took us on a trip to his hometown. We stopped for a bit at his older sister's house. She and her husband had land, fields in that beautiful, rich northwestern countryside. We say in her courtyard eating grapes from a nearby tree and sweet makrouch, cookies similar to fig newtons but so much tastier, not artificial. It was Ramadan and not sunset yet so they didn't eat but insisted we did, the whole that's quite enough no no have more dance. There, instead of the kind of trees we see in this image there was a row of cactus plants.

In the foreground we see the king, with his staff in hand, a gate and little balls of fire separating him from the land. A lion lays at his feet. I wish I could say this brings something more positive to mind, but well...

The lion: al-Assad, in Arabic. Bashar al-Assad - a lion, his name means, the image it creates. The lion-named ruler surrounded by balls of fire, like little bombs, sitting alone.

He has a dagger at his waist. Elsewhere in the Arab world, in parts of the Gulf, a man's dagger is a necessary symbols of his honor, strength. During the summer we had an assignment that involved listening to a news broadcast over and over until we could decipher the words, the meaning, the event being described. Elections in Yemen, the second since the unification of the country in the early 1990's. A victory for the incumbent, of course. There was still tension in the country, need for increased security. Voting guidelines were clearly described. Voters are not permitted to bring their daggers into the polling stations.

There are not daggers in most wars today. We have moved beyond such thing, such limited destructive capacity. There are no polling stations in as-Shams, the land of the sun as Syria is also known, in Arabic. There is a lot of fire, though. It's interesting how, for me at least, this particular card, unless I am reading with reversals, generally one I consider a positive sign, situation, description of a person. But what does happen when a king with this kind of passion, drive, need for attention and power, action-based orientation...what happens when he isn't a good person despite all, when he is driven by selfish intentions, when he is isolated and pushed against a wall? A air king might submit to logic, strategic considerations; earth can be pragmatic, cut losses; water is emotional but also flexible, adaptable. What does fire do, if not burn?
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Bashar al-Assad stalks around his palace, despondent.

He fears he will end up dead no matter what he does, the Russian official says.

If he tries to depart his own Alawite allies will kill him. They fear what will happen to them at the hands of the Sunnis if his government falls. Oh no no, there will be none of that going off and leaving us to our fate, they say. They remember how they were seen, before his father took control; they know how they are regarded now.

If he stays he will be killed when, if, the rebels take control of the capital. Perhaps he has even seen the youtube videos of Qaddhafi's death, that same fate: the once great, once mad dictator begging and beaten; and later the same crowd yelling, smiling, fooling with his corpse.

An eye doctor once, he was, peering into others' eyes.

Now he paces in the palace and outside the bombs continue to explode; the shelling continues; the rapes continue. A Turkish university carried out a study in one of its refugee camps, an article on the Arabic BBC says. 71% of the children there have lost at least one relative in the fighting. By and large, their mothers care for them alone. Where are the fathers, the husbands? Killed, or fighting with rebels or army or perhaps both.

(Why did you defect, the officers were asked. al-ATfal, al-ATfal, they said. The children - I could not stand it, the killing of children.)

And so it goes, smolders and burns.

some more story time

So I figured it was high time I did another of the story writing exercises. I can't quite remember, but I don't *think* that I've done one with a pips deck before...

There were once two kings whose nations bordered each other. Though close to one another, the nature of their lands varied greatly - the first king ruled a mountainous region. His was a harsh domain, bitterly cold in the winter. His people were tough - they raised goats and they mined and traded. His resources were scarce, demanding careful, prudent management. He worried and thought and worked. His neighbor, in contrast, ruled over a land of rich and fertile valleys, rich with rivers and springs and rain. His people grew more food then they could eat, hunted plentifully, were surrounded by beautiful flowers in spring. This king had time not just to rule but to dream, to paint and write poetry.

One would think that these differences might lead to war, sooner or later, between the two countries, but here that was not the case. The two kings had long been friends, and as time went on they found themselves growing closer yet, looking forward to each of their state visits, diplomatic missions, negotiations. There embraces are meeting and parting went on longer than one might expect. Over time the two men realized that their feelings for one another were deeper than that of allies or even friends. There was love between them, passion repressed - for they both knew that anything else was impossible. The mountain king was twenty years older than the king of the valleys, and looked even more the elder, drained my so many years of work and worry. It would be unheard of, inappropriate, impossible yes, always.

And so the years passed. The mountain king would find himself thinking of the other as he climbed through mountain passes with his men, inspecting and giving orders. The valley king would paint his colleague, again and again and again, write poetry that was never heard. Neither married.

Finally, after many years had passed in this way, a terrible storm swept through the land, strong enough to bring creatures from the sea into the valley and wash away many structures. The mountain king ordered his people to go down and help their neighbors. The two leaders felt, then, a wild shift in their thinking, perspective. So many years wasted, gone by in longing. And so they talked and planned, and in the end they announced something great: a union of their two lands into a new, greater nation. They would rule together, partners in all things, and upon their deaths the mountain king's niece and the valley king's nephew, who had taken already to one another, would be married and take their place. The two kings held hand, embraced, and so a new nation was formed. Problems continued, of course, obstacles, minor and less minor disasters - but for the rest of their lives, the two kings would face all of those together.

Precision-Oriented

The Knight of Swords can be thought of as the element of air in its purest, externalized form. He moves swiftly through the winds, one with his horse, his flexible helicopter-wings, the birds that fly near him, ready to aid. His arms are extended with pointed dagger and sword; He is efficiency, logical action.

Precision-oriented, going after one thing at a time, carrying through until it is finished, shifting and adjusting as necessary.

Sometimes - often - the big picture can be overwhelming. Too many unknowns or, quite the contrary, such a long and difficult list of shoulds that staring at the whole of it can be quite intensely demotivating.

You find everything twisted and knotted so tightly - how will you, with so limited time and energy, ever manage to straighten it out again, even a little?

So many things, so many things call out to you in little grubby voices.

Perhaps you really simply cannot do very much of it. Despite the voices of support saying it's not that hard, you've done it before, you've done a lot of difficult things before, go on. They mean well, and yet perhaps you simply...cannot find it in you. Once, before you did it, sure, quickly, and yet...

Precision-oriented. If you cannot find the strength in you to do much, focus on one thing that needs doing. Map out the steps, gather your focus, and do that one thing. Finish it. A small success, something out of the way. Two or three things on a list crossed out is something. Simpler to tackle a single task, a single set of steps.

Better sometimes to focus on a single thing and complete it, do it well, than to try to tackle everything, lose track of yourself, leave things half-done when you run out of time or energy or attention for it all.

Little things build up to bigger over time, anyway, if done in a logical kind of way.

My Arabic studies, case-in-point: you learn vocabulary word after word written and re-written, conjugated, understood within a system of roots and patterns, committed to memory. Words that slowly imprint themselves into your mind, one at a time. And suddenly I am listening to political talk show podcasts and find that I can follow along, even when the speakers get worked up, argue, speak quickly. Progress...

forming a firm foundation

Foundation, needing to establish a firm foundation, something to build on, something to work and to live upon with some sense of stability...

This card has such a modern vibe, the artisan working not at the stones of some ancient cathedral but at a computer, at a desk; the tools are not grand but compact - a little box, circuitry, a kind of modern magic, toss it in your bag and go. And yet it holds so much, doesn't it, allows you to do so much.

Labor of love, working at that computer, creating, learning, studying, reading until your eyeballs hurt; of love perhaps, but a labor nonetheless. Labor that needs foundation for focus, for sticking to it. The suit of pentacles is earthy...what is needed now, for this to work, is not the ideas, not the inspiration, the creative drive; no what is needed is concrete focus, wellness, comfort, a safe place (that rich, purple color; the spirals of light - growing brighter, or dimmer?) to settle into - physically and especially mentally.

I have been trying, to get into the right mindset for focusing on my studies again, properly, for looking for work, everything - this card both an image of where I want to be and what is holding me back. Foundation - needing to put your house in order, metaphorically speaking. A little bit of mess and crazy is comfortable - too much chaos and it becomes so, so much more difficult to be any kind of productive...

And how to go about with that? The King of wands, carrying the burning torch, trumpet-shaped, full of creative impetus, energy. Restriction seems like a funny title for this card, but the book provides some great clarification: look at the background, the desert, and beyond that, what, a mushroom cloud, yes. The metaphor of nuclear testing, nuclear bomb development - how much brilliance went into that particular innovation? And how much destruction can come from its use, unmoderated? How many decades have we spent carefully trying to restrict nuclear weapons use. Bolts of lightning, the potential for so much disaster...

Needing to harness the energy of the King of Wands not just to DO, but also to NOT DO. Time to get a grip on certain self-destructive tendencies of mine that have been given far too much free reign as of late. Everything has a price, consequences. If you are unwilling, at this time, to make the big, Tower-sized changes, then at the very least...restriction, carefully harnessing of resources to create at least that much stability, foundation, needed to focus on those things that matter most.

exercise in deliberate succinctness

So I freely admit I tend to fall on the verbose side of the spectrum when it comes to writing and readings and such...but it's always useful to change things up from time to time, so. A bare-bones, getting down to the gist of things type of reading exercise here.
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King of Swords [reversed]

It is tempting, sometimes - even when you KNOW that it is not the logical thing to do - to avoid being decisive, to avoid taking control of a situation in a concrete way. It is tempting to ignore logic entirely, to dodge the call of responsibility.

7 of Swords

It is much easier, to simply ignore the problem. It is easier to go to sleep, to dream and distract yourself, to close your eyes and do not. But telling yourself the problem isn't there or isn't serious doesn't make it so. You are only giving the mice a chance to multiply, allowing things to advance, get worse, get even more difficult to deal with in the long-term.

5 of Coins

Eventually you will need to get out there, in the snow and the cold, and deal with the situation. Yes, it will no doubt be unpleasant and frustrating and possibly quite difficult. Certainly, far less comfortable than staying in bed with eyes shut pretending everything is fine. But it is necessary to deal with that hardship, to resolve the issue. And there is some support for you while you do it, if you are willing to accept it.

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My attempts at being brief never turn out as brief as I set out, but this was quite to the point, methinks. And useful to keep in mind. Tonight, the cards and the cats remind me of quite the same thing a friend was trying to get through my sometimes thick/avoidant skull during the day. I guess it's time I actually try to listen? ;]

things you cannot escape

They come, hurtle towards you far faster than you could run even if you had a time to: the things that you cannot avoid, cannot escape or hide from, cannot shove aside to be dealt with another time.

Perhaps you would like to dive off of your stone throne, king, into those wild, dark waves. Perhaps you would like to hold your breath and swim and swim until you grow dizzy from lack of oxygen and too much buoyancy. Perhaps you would like to shut your eyes and your mind, to distract yourself: the contents of that golden cup call. Perhaps you would like to turn away, to put yourself to sleep, where you could dream of ships and sails, impossible illusions, anything but the concrete, in front of you here and now.

But you cannot do any of those things, not for long, not this time. They sail through the air towards you - events, changes, that impossible to resist momentum, swiftness. You see them, know what you must do, how quickly and surely you must act even if you wish that you could wait, procrastinate, ponder a bit longer, dream distractions. You see them and you know how you must prepare, the circle you have to complete, bit by bit.

They will arrive soon, slam into the ground around you whether you wish them to or not. You must be there, fully there, to greet them. It is far too late for anything else.

Knight Study II: Swords

So, because it came up anyway in a daily reading I did for myself this morning, continuing the series inspired by Rowan Tarot and This Game of Thrones - talking about the Knights in the Thoth tarot.

Knight of Swords

Here again we have a knight that isn't quite comparable to the RWS king of the same suit. There are similarities, certainly: both are logical, calculating, ruthless when they need to be. Both are quite capable of being discerning, and both have a certain quality - in contrast to the prince/knight of the court - of being very controlled. The King however, is again more  'passive' for lack of a better term: he sits and he judges, sometimes over-harshly, over-critically. He seeks to manage and control. He is active, sure, but intellectually, by and large.

In contrast, the Thoth knight is all about movement, action. In contrast to the disk knight's horse, who stands firmly on earth, the one here leaps through the air. It is a golden horse, wise and filled with a higher kind of power, and it can run through the wind, through the ethers, through anywhere, really, that its master needs it to go. And the knight is clad in bright green, like the Fool: full of energy, vitality, possibility. His helmet has transparent wings, helicopter-like in design. This knight is supremely flexible, adaptable: he has a focus, a goal that he will pursue relentlessly, and with those wings he can fly, or he can hover, give the horse more speed, adjust his course as rapidly and often as he needs - anything. In fact, wrapped into the horse as he is, you can barely tell where the man ends and the beast begins: they are one with each other, sharing intention and instinct and drive.

This is not the Prince, recklessly riding forward. The king, logical and calculating, knows exactly what he wants to do, and how. He has his sword and dagger ready, his target selected with pin-point precision. He does nothing without a reason, without logic to back up his decision. But once he focuses on a goal...he PURSUES it indeed. There are swallows around him, golden like the horse: they are his too. They guide him, keep him on course, keep him from getting distracted or developing that kind of tunnel-vision that can stop you from seeing the bigger picture. See, the knight can play well with others when it suits him, share ideas and perspectives, though in the end he does prefer to lead. He is moving, always moving, but smartly, everything calculated carefully. The Queen IS, but the Knight DOES.

Unlike the King, the Knight takes his ability to harness the power of logic; the discipline and control he has mastered over himself; his ability to think critically, to judge, plan, and follow through ruthlessly, and he focuses them on a goal. And he achieves that goal, and moves onto the next and so on. At his best he is in fact the very image of precision: the well though out, action-oriented campaign.

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For the record, the card came up alongside of the Wheel of Fortune and 6 of Wands for me. I took the message to be one of, basically...sometimes things are hard, you don't feel well, you have problems going on and you just feel...overwhelmed with a kind of hopeless despair. And sometimes you have to realize that now is not the TIME for that, and instead focus, in this kind of logical and directed way, at successfully accomplishing the immediate tasks in front of you. So I went to a meeting with one of my presentation groups, participated lots in the planning, and we got quite a lot done. Then I made some good headway in outlining my memo that I must have done for Monday, and plan on doing some more research as soon as I finish posting this. So YES, appropriate message indeed. Thoth is one of the few decks I've ever worked with where I can pull cards multiple times a day and get a meaningful, USEFUL message just about every time....

Plans and Pipe-Dreams

So you get an idea: you want to do something new, try a different approach to things. You want to have something worthwhile to channel your energy, your passions into. Perhaps this new start can be that for you - new leaves, bright green sprouting from an upright branch; a dance among spring, flowers, blossoming. You want to grow, to do more than you are currently able to do. You want to be better. You want to do, to involve yourself with creative, impressive, fulfilling pursuits.

And so you have this idea, a spark of insight, the outlines of a plan, a course of action you could take to make it all come together. Or vaguer than that, a sketch in your mind still, this new opportunity, project, adventure...

And yet...how do you know, whether that flash of inspiration holds the seeds of a real, viable plan, or whether it is all a pipe dream? Mind games, escapist daydreams that flit across your mind because it is so much easier to get lost in perhaps perhaps and eventually than to deal with the difficult things right in front of you: that months-long fantasy, born of nothing more than a walk in front of an embassy, of running away to Australia...

Standing in front of a throne with a scepter of power in his hand, this man may be a king now, may have the power and the authority, but he never really did leave behind who he was: that knight, that dreamy-eyed, over-romantic knight. Still he focuses on the cup, his own self-indulgence rather than the larger picture. He drinks and enjoys the muddy-headed feeling as he ponders things he might do, project he might undertake, eventually, the things he might accomplish if he actually took this or that step...perhaps, perhaps...

Below, in his fields, with the castle where he takes his pleasure in view, simple people toil. They work and they work, force themselves through day after day of monotonous unrewarding labor. Does the king think of them? Does the King consider how his actions might effect others? Does the king account for those little details of reality in his grand plans?

And why do they stick to it, those people, day after day breaking their backs and see nothing for it? The same concept: the vague dream, the vague plans and ambitions - they too want something greater, something more. Perhaps if they work hard enough, are careful enough, are diligent enough, are good enough, perhaps they too will have a chance at those fresh young leaves sprouting up. Is this really possible? Is the system too skewed for them to have a chance at real success? Should they just give up then, collapse in the sun and refuse because why bother, why bother when nothing will ever change and they will grow old with age and still have nothing? Or is there that chance, if they, too, let themselves dream? Is there a difference between the dream-gaze into the bottom of a cup and the longing dream as you stare at the castle up there, in the distance?

Where exactly does the outline of a real plan end and the foggy edges of a pipe dream begin?

Knight Study I: Disks

So, inspired my some recent posts and ideas on Rowan Tarot and This Game of Thrones, I decided I would like to write a bit specifically about the Knights in the Thoth. Knights, because I find them rather interesting, not least because they do not translate, exactly, to either knights or kings in RWS tradition decks. It's hard (and, in my opinion, not really appropriate) to make direct correlations... I don't have the time/energy right now to do it all in one comprehensive post, though, so breaking it up into bits and pieces series.

Knight of Disks

So yeah, Thoth Knights - they aren't equivalent to the RWS kings, really. In the RWS, the King of Pentacles/Coins is a man sitting in the midst of the wealth and bounty he has created for himself. He is a man fulfilled, a man grounded, a man who rules over what he has accomplished. He is solid and in many ways static - pragmatic when he doesn't cling overmuch, and yet not so likely to make changes if he doesn't HAVE to - what he's done so far has gotten him this much, so why change things now? He is the ruler of his domain, his home.

I've never really connected with that particular court card, I must say. Certainly it is quite far from where I am right now in life. No, as I've written about before, its the Knight of Pentacles that I identify with quite strongly....solid, perhaps not so enthusiastic but pragmatic, forward and forward through obstacles, trudging along, determined realism...

In the Thoth Knight of Disks we have a combination of those, really. He sits on a horse - unlike the horses in the other suits, this horse has his hooves firmly planted in the ground and he is standing still rather than in motion. He cranes his neck, though, looking around - aware, cautious, wise. He's on the same page as his master: realistic, knowing what danger lurks, what to look out for, what to keep in mind. They stand in front of some wheat, fertile ground for starting new things and a source of grazing for the horse too, perhaps. Sustainable effort, then. They can get along here as long as it takes to get the task done. The knight wears a suit of heavy black armor - protection, from whatever he might have to face, whether physical or mental. Perhaps that much protection - the black metal in the hot sun -presents difficulties, but he can manage to carry that burden; he must. He carries a heavy shield too, and it protects, emanates a forcefield that blankets him, his mount, everything. His helmet is up so that he can see clearly, assess realistically and without distortion.

This is not a man who has accomplished, who sits with his spoils by his throne, satisfied. But neither is he the Prince, riding out with his bull-drawn chariot, naked and ready to face the world for the first time. The knight is experienced. He has done this before. He knows how to pace himself, conserve energy; he knows that it doesn't pay to exhaust a horse with unneccessary motion. He knows how important it is to find a fertile place for longer campaigns. He knows how much danger there is, how many obstacles, and how much the world can hurt you, and how much it pays to be protected, shielded and armored. He knows too, how heavy the armor will make him, how hot, how much more of an effort it will be to move. He has prepared for it, accounted for it, readied himself to deal with it because he must, he must. The knight knows exactly how many things must be faced out of that kind of necessity. In plains or mountains or deserts or fields, however long or short a time it will take. He has done it before and he will do it again, and its that perseverance that is his accomplishment, not fruit or coins on a table before him.

That heavy shield, the weight of everything - difficult, difficult, but you can do it. You have the armor, the strong and steady mount. You can see clearly, and you are experienced enough to understand what you see. Be realistic. Plan. Deal with it. Go.

A Deck of Quirky Courts

So I tend to try to stick to writing here about the decks that I am actually currently working with, but now and then...an exception.

I decided to take advantage of my access to a scanner here to get my de la rea deck on my computer for future such blogging purposes, and was reminded again why this is one of my favorite decks. It's on odd one, to be sure: offbeat art style, very Marseille based but everything is masks, pip minors with odd elemental associations illustrated differently than the usual Marseille patterns. Gold and silver paint on the cards, and they are so very pretty...this is most definitely an art deck, a deck for collectors, and for some at least, that's more or less what it is.

I have a rule though, about reading with all decks I own. If I cannot read with it, I do not keep it. And indeed, I've found a way - a very specific way - to get this deck to give me brilliant readings. I only ever read with it using the Comte de Mellet spread, no reversals. With this method, readings vary from short, with only one or two pairs of cards to read, to quite longer. In fact, after my scanning spree I was inspired to do a reading for myself with it...it ended up being six pairs, for a total of twelve cards, much more than my reading usual. As usual, utterly on point, accurate, and thorough. That reading is too long and too personal to post here, so instead I thought I would linger a bit on one aspect of this deck I find particularly charming - the courts!

It is of course an extra challenge to take the courts - often considered some of the trickiest cards in the deck to read - and show them as these masked, abstracted figures. Yes, what I love about these is just how well the 'feel' of each court is expressed. I love the knight of wands, for example, because he isn't quite the bold rushing forward figure of other decks...yet actually, expression not unlike that of the RWS really...uncertain, heading into unfamiliar territory perhaps, encountering some surprise, the ridicule of the horse...and yet he goes anyway. What's that saying about courage being about feeling fear and proceeding anyway? I like this queen too...majestic in the way she holds that cup, her hood over her like a canopy, the influence of intuition, mind...

I also quite like these two courts. The starkness of the coloring on the King of Swords really highlights the kind of harsh, unyielding intellectual nature of this figure, the width of his collar and garb how much space he takes up, his authority...everything black, white, red. Those shoulder masks... As for this page...the garb of a scholar, or at least it seems so to me, and the curious up-tilt of the head. She likes learning new things, this page, exploring, inspecting, enriching herself. Love the detail of the sprouting plant in the background.

But yes, love the quirky courts in this deck, and shall definitely be doing some exercises around them eventually, when I get back to working with this deck more regularly. It really is such a treasure: the majors are, too, quite awesome :]

value and achievement

The wizened king, standing in front of the altar of his material achievement, carefully counting his wealth. Is it still there, all of it? Is it enough? And the nubile youth, standing on the pedestal, balancing that ornate urn on her head, surrounded by others; she stares into the distance listlessly.

The two of these make me think a bit about the value of ostensibly valuable things. There is, of course, that oh so well known bit about money not buying happiness, and that's true enough. Material things that you can buy with the money don't necessarily bring joy either. That is also, I've found, quite true...

But really, what comes to mind here is that...money is not, after all, the only thing we think of in that way, the only "coin" as it were that we seek so desperately to earn, achieve, keep. Achievement and value have an interesting relationship in that way...

In my own life, well. This has been a rather hellishly busy week. After having a rather personally difficult, draining, stressful weekend, the week has been...an important memorandum paper due, a history research paper proposal due, an arabic exam to take, a book review due, an presentation to do, all of it in three days. Just gotten through the last of it; I'm pretty sure I did well enough, possibly even did Good. I should feel accomplished, I know.

Mostly though, I just feel terribly tired and drained. Especially since there's more still left in my week...work tomorrow, and so many errands I must get through, and academic reading to make up still, and...I just feel so tired of it all. Situations in which the cost of gaining that which you value is so high that by the time you get it, you don't have the energy for enthusiasm, for real appreciation.

You force yourself to stand on the pedestal: look at me, doing what I am supposed to do. You count the coins you have worked so hard to get: mine, mine, mine this accomplishment, yes.

for today - goodbye and hello

So yeah, today is one of those occasional days where I actually feel like doing a 'daily draw' type thing - you know, picking a card for the day. I'm also about the switch off the two decks I'm working with, so I figured it'd be interesting to pull two cards: one from one of the decks I'm about to put away that I really connected with, as a kind of goodbye message, and one from one of the decks I'm looking forward to working with, as a kind of hello message.

The Swedish Witch, a deck I always thought was cool, and which I was quite happy to be able to go on an adventure to buy when I was in Sweden, ended up being an even better reading deck than I could have hoped. I really enjoyed working with it, and with all that symbolism, I feel it'd make a great deck to study/work with exclusively, one day...

Anyway, my daily message from this one is the King of Swords...a card of action, of passion, of in control kind of DOING. We have two horses here, ready to move things along, and flames to add urgency to the situation. There's a horse on the King's helmet too...a card of movement messages indeed.

Very apt, in fact. This wasn't the best of weeks for me in many ways, including very poor sleep patterns, and as a result I didn't wake up until 1pm, which is VERY late for me. It's after five in the evening now, and I still haven't done anything meaningfully productive. Don't plan on going to sleep until very late, so there's still plenty of time, but I think this card is a very CLEAR message to get my arse up and start doing things. Run to the store, clean, laundry, schoolwork...the list is long. In fact, this being a King and not a knight, and thus subject to more organization and discipline, makes me think I ought to update that list and then really make myself start doing things on it and crossing it out. Get moving, this card says. Now.

Yes, I posted about this deck before, when it first came, and the time has now come to devote some time to getting to know it. There are many reasons why this deck really calls to me, though there are some drawbacks too - a few years ago, the very simple, uninspired pips might have been a major challenge to me. Fortunately these days, I can work with unillustrated pips just fine, and the majors and courts more than make up for it, methinks. We shall see.

In any case, the message from here is the lovers...an interesting take to be sure. We have the Marseille tradition image of a man surrounded by two lovely ladies to choose between...one is dressed in the fashion of the Islamic conquerors of the region, Islamic culture, North African variant (makes me think of the ladies on the streets in 'Battle of Algiers') while the second lady wears traditional North African Berber dress. Sun shines brightly behind them all. Of course, there's an interesting component here, not present in the European tradition, of the fact that If the dude is Muslim as well, he COULD actually marry both of these ladies...

In any case, choices choices, eh? Overwhelmed with choices. In this case, with what to do. This is one of the reasons I've been awake for several hours and haven't gotten anything significant done. What to start with? The mess that is my floor, my desk, my bed? The lost debit card I need to try to locate? The readings I need to do for my classes on Monday? The Arabic homework? Spinning around and everywhere a something that needs to get done and I get dizzy from it all so I say, in a bit, and go back to trimming some cards. Choices choices. Neither of these ladies is a bad option, right? Just pick something and start with it. Whatever you get done, that's progress, thats one less thing on the To Do List. Choices choices - sometimes any decision is better than indecision.

drawing for the day/extrapolated life lesson

I was pretty sure of what I wanted to do today, but after hearing a certain comment from someone, did start wondering just a bit. So decided to draw a few cards this morning, before going out and about with my day. There was two ways I thought to interpret these, so decided to see how the day played out, and I did, and afterwards I have this to say...

Life is short, relatively speaking. Years when you are healthy enough and mobile and free are even briefer. If there is something you want to do, something you know is within your abilities and means, something that you know will make you happier, more fulfilled, more satisfied with yourself or with life...go for it. Just do it. Do what you need to do - save up, make the plans, do the legwork, gather up the courage. If you can imagine it, if you can get it down to tangible specifics...just do it.

Forget what people might say to you, even people you are close to, people you care about. If you know it doesn't actually HURT other people, and you know that YOU will like it, YOU will be happy with it...just do it. Forget about potential conflict. Forget about what people may think of you, judgement, disapproval. Life is short, and living it to please others is not worth the sacrifice if doing so makes you unhappy. Life is short, and it can be difficult and miserable and trying...don't give up so easily on things that make it better for you.

If you can imagine it, dream it, and if you can conceptualize those dreams into a tangible, realistically obtainable reality...just do it. Don't push it off until later, until one day, until maybe this or maybe that...sometimes it really is better to just apologize afterwards than to ask permission beforehand. Especially if the pleasure it brings you far outweighs, objectively speaking, the displeasure it may cause anyone else. People who might judge your choices aren't living in your skin. You are. If it will fulfill you, just do it.

Just do it, and enjoy it. Enjoy every moment of the experience. Hang onto that feeling. Hang onto it afterwards, and let the words of others, if they really do come, slide off of you. Be polite of course, be nice. If you don't like conflict, perhaps even be discreet so as to avoid it. Hang onto that feeling, let it fill your soul, and it will be worth it.