exercise in deliberate succinctness

So I freely admit I tend to fall on the verbose side of the spectrum when it comes to writing and readings and such...but it's always useful to change things up from time to time, so. A bare-bones, getting down to the gist of things type of reading exercise here.
--

King of Swords [reversed]

It is tempting, sometimes - even when you KNOW that it is not the logical thing to do - to avoid being decisive, to avoid taking control of a situation in a concrete way. It is tempting to ignore logic entirely, to dodge the call of responsibility.

7 of Swords

It is much easier, to simply ignore the problem. It is easier to go to sleep, to dream and distract yourself, to close your eyes and do not. But telling yourself the problem isn't there or isn't serious doesn't make it so. You are only giving the mice a chance to multiply, allowing things to advance, get worse, get even more difficult to deal with in the long-term.

5 of Coins

Eventually you will need to get out there, in the snow and the cold, and deal with the situation. Yes, it will no doubt be unpleasant and frustrating and possibly quite difficult. Certainly, far less comfortable than staying in bed with eyes shut pretending everything is fine. But it is necessary to deal with that hardship, to resolve the issue. And there is some support for you while you do it, if you are willing to accept it.

--

My attempts at being brief never turn out as brief as I set out, but this was quite to the point, methinks. And useful to keep in mind. Tonight, the cards and the cats remind me of quite the same thing a friend was trying to get through my sometimes thick/avoidant skull during the day. I guess it's time I actually try to listen? ;]

the funny thing about anxieties...

So...interesting pair of cards coming up today. Interesting that they come up as a pair, that is: the 9 of swords and the Sun card - quite a contrast it seems, between those. In the first we have a cat on that familiar patch quilt, except here, with the suits and elemental symbols filled in it almost looks like a chess board of some sort - a challenge, a competition.

The cat sees danger everywhere. Beneath his feet. Around him. The swords box him in, cage him where he stands. Sharp blades are pointed towards his body. Who knows how long they will hang like that, threatening? Waiting for the sword to fall, waiting for the other shoe to drop... And doesn't that really describe the state of anxiety perfectly? It is the WORRY that kills you as much as whatever the negative event actually is...the pondering worst case scenarios, the dread...

And of course, when things are a mess, that kind of anxiety...well, at least it makes SENSE, is not...unexpected. But what about when things are going well, coming together? What about when you've just managed to succeed at something challenging?

Shockingly (ha!) enough, the brain will still find something to worry over - what if it all goes wrong now? What if you screw up and all that work is wasted? Now that you've set a standard, if you make a mistake, drop the ball, it will be even MORE of a disappointment to you and to others; the stakes are higher...

And of course, there is internal nitpicking. Did well? Well enough, sure, but surely you could have done even BETTER if you had tried harder, if you were really good enough, if you really belonged in this position, if you really had the skills people think you have...

Considering how easily these kinds of thoughts can come...I suppose it's not all that surprising that Impostor Syndrome is as common a phenomenon as it is.

Fundamentally, I guess, and depending on your exact nature, approach to things, how much work you may have done to deal with negative patterns of thinking, anxieties and worries are pretty much part of the deal of being a living, functioning human being, regardless of the external. Things are a mess? You worry. Things are fantastic? You worry. So it goes. The trick, I suppose, is that act of managing your thinking, keeping things in perspective, accepting irrational thoughts while recognizing that they are irrational and calibrating your actions accordingly.

Sometimes you just need to make a conscious effort to turn your thoughts away from the swords and towards those sunflowers in the background.

things you cannot escape

They come, hurtle towards you far faster than you could run even if you had a time to: the things that you cannot avoid, cannot escape or hide from, cannot shove aside to be dealt with another time.

Perhaps you would like to dive off of your stone throne, king, into those wild, dark waves. Perhaps you would like to hold your breath and swim and swim until you grow dizzy from lack of oxygen and too much buoyancy. Perhaps you would like to shut your eyes and your mind, to distract yourself: the contents of that golden cup call. Perhaps you would like to turn away, to put yourself to sleep, where you could dream of ships and sails, impossible illusions, anything but the concrete, in front of you here and now.

But you cannot do any of those things, not for long, not this time. They sail through the air towards you - events, changes, that impossible to resist momentum, swiftness. You see them, know what you must do, how quickly and surely you must act even if you wish that you could wait, procrastinate, ponder a bit longer, dream distractions. You see them and you know how you must prepare, the circle you have to complete, bit by bit.

They will arrive soon, slam into the ground around you whether you wish them to or not. You must be there, fully there, to greet them. It is far too late for anything else.