a door opens, a door closes

I found this absolutely lovely little spread on the aeclectic forum that I totally thought was worth trying out, so.

When One Door Closes Another Door Opens Spread (2) by Glass Owl

"When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." - Alexander Graham Bell

What Is Behind The Closed Door: This represents what has come before or is out of reach. You keep returning to this closed door but you no longer have the key to open it. It is time for you to move on. I suggest placing the rest of the deck on top of this card so it can not longer be seen and then turn your attention to the next card in the spread.

What Is Beyond The Open Door: This represents possibilities and what is within your reach. This door is not only unlocked but it is wide open. What lies behind this doorway deserves your time and energy. Imagining yourself walking through this open door and embracing what this card is offering you. 

 So, I must say, quite interesting that the Hermit shows up here as the closed door. It makes sense, though. The Hermit is all about going off and doing things alone, people who needs people, and introspection, and really learning and growing a lot and maybe finding some things you need to find but yes, alone being the key word. Solitude.

Being an introvert, I don't think it's all that shocking that uh, yeah I very much have some Hermit like tendencies. I do spend a lot of time alone, and especially when I am really stressed or overwhelmed or unhappy, I tend to isolate myself even more: the bigger the problem, the stronger my feeling of this is something i should keep to myself, deal with myself.

I was also just thinking, recently, about how I really need to update my own perception of my social skills and abilities. See, I didn't really have friends in high school (I was the kid who sat in staircases reading books. constantly.) or the first two years of college, and even though so much has changed in my life since then, a part of me still sees myself as that sixteen year old kid, terribly socially anxious and socially awkward, not knowing how to speak to people, what to say, muddling about. The thing is though - these days, in *most* situations I'm not really like that at all. I can hold conversations with a variety of people, even if I don't really like them or care about what we are talking about. I can be funny. People seem to like me well enough after we socially interact. I HAVE interacted with people, adults, who really do have serious social skill impairments and...while I am not and will never be a social butterfly, I'm really not that bad at all these days. That is, I guess this card is trying to say, an aspect of my identy, The One Who Is Alone, or The One Who Cannot Connect With People, that isn't true and that i should work on letting go of...

And what door should I open instead? Well, the King of Cups is, first of all, a mature man, an adult. This is definitely an aspect of it, learning to navigate the world of "adult social interaction" which is a bit different that 'young adult social interaction' as it were - the cup here is particularly apt. Until about a year or two ago, I didn't drink alcohol at all - didn't have a taste for it, wasn't interested in the whole getting drunk for the hell of getting drunk scene, whatever. But realizing that drinking is SUCH a part of so many adult social interactions and get-togethers in some way, and that it was so much more natural to just figure out something that worked for me rather than the whole 'oh, but I do not drink' song and dance...well, I have now, figured out how to have a casual drink with other adults at a bar or a restaurant or a social event. Moderately of course, as the upright of this card suggests. More generally, though, I think, its about trying to connect more with people - not just acting the logical outside observer of human interaction. The word "networking" comes to mind. If Queens are the crux of the suit turned inwards, Kings are turned outwards and so it is here: my grad program, for example, is always telling us about how important it is to network, and I've seen with my own eyes how helpful can be to careers...it doens't come naturally to me at all, that, but perhaps again, at least some of that is just perception, perception of me as only the Hermit, never the King, that I need to let go of.

In my personal life too...well, I have been pro-actively connecting more, already, a bit. I've met a couple friends from online in real life in the last year or so, and that was all really nice. I started going to monthly meetups with a local tarot group largely because it's a way to meet people, interact with folks I'd ordinarily not interact with at all and with whom I share some common. Considering maybe trying to find some activity or interest meetups/groups when I actually have some free time energy, that kind of thing.

So yeah, this reading makes perfect sense - let go of that self-image of me as alone person that was never really quite accurate and has grown increasingly less so with time, and focus on maintaing/improving current friendships/relationships and being pro-active about forming new ones, both professionally and personally.