favorite card backs

An often overlooked aspect of tarot decks, the backs are...well. for me, i can't say they are necessarily a deal breaker - i have several decks whose backs I quite dislike but which I got anyway because well, the actual deck more than made up for that particular drawback. but I must say, a nice back really does add to the awesomeness of a deck as a whole.

For me personally, i like my backs to be reversible if possible (since I read with reversals), for them to somehow thematically or visually 'go' with the card fronts, WITHOUT being merely a print of one of the cards (this tendency on the part of LoS particularly is rather annoying...) and just general aesthetic prettiness. I thought it'd be fun to just list some of my favorite card backs from within my tarot collection. Interestingly enough, they don't correspond all that much with which decks are my favorites overall...

Lookit, shiny!

The Fenestra tarot has what is probably my most favorite of backs...very nice, subtle color, a bit of an art-nouveau feel to it, nicely reversible, and goes perfectly with the art style of the cards themselves. As I said, not really corresponding with my deck preference generally...see, I love the minors in this deck, and it'd probably be much higher on my preferences list if it wasn't for the HUGE, UGLY, UNTRIMMABLE borders the publisher felt the need to take onto all the majors.

I traded this deck away because of that, and the universe recently saw that another copy of it came back to me, so holding onto it this time because I do like the art style and colors generally. And yes, the backs are a major plus.

Other cool backs:

     
I like these two a lot, the Crystal/Vetro back and the Balbi. The Crystal back doesn't really go with the art style of the deck per se, but I just really like how it looks. Reminds me of some old playing card backs I vaguely remember from when I was a kid. Nice and reversible too.

As for the Balbi, again, simple and reversible. Colors do a lot for me too - I've always liked the purple and green color combination, and the particular shades of purple and green used here really appeal. I like the vague vine type design, and the general style and bright colors perfectly encompass the nature of the deck overall and yeah, likey.

Now here are two backs that AREN'T quite reversible, but which I really like anyway. One is the Thoth back. Like the rest of that deck, it is chock full of esoteric symbolism I currently only vaguely/half-understand at best, but I can appreciate it's significance. It definitely gives you a nice feel for the rest of the deck, and visually, it just works. Plus, its not THAT badly un-reversible, so I can still read my reversals without too much distraction.

The Tarot de la Rea back, on the other hand, is very non-reversible, but given that this is one of very few decks which I DON'T read using reversals (in fact this deck likes me to use one very specific spread to read with it) that's not too much a bother. It very well represents the cool mask-filled nature of the deck as a whole and like the fronts just has a...unique, special feel to it. This deck really is one of the little treasures of my collections, and that includes the backs.

academic advice again

Well, I did a reading a while back for advice on an academic paper I'd needed to write, and liked how that well. Have something else I need to finish by the end of the month - not strictly for school, more like an article/entry to [hopefully] be published in this upcoming encycolopedia o' terrorism thing, so important - and figured it'd be useful to use the same spread/reading idea. Basically two pairs - the first pair for advice as to process, the second for advice as to content.

So here, in the first pair, I see, well - useful if unsurprising advice. One of those *prod prod* type messages from the cards. In the lovers card I see the need for synthesis - to combine the creativity and inspiration of the Empress with the discipline and organization of the Emperor. I can create/write up something awesome, can do this successfully, but I need to really channel BOTH of those energies. As in, not random ideas and disorganized outline like I have now but really sit down and force myself to WORK on it. Discipline, more deliberate effort. This is emphasized by the fool - stop procrastinating, because in this case the procrastination isn't borne of laziness but rather of self-doubt, nervousness, the fact that writing something that's to be PUBLISHED, and not just for school, is intimidating. Have confidence, or at least an optimistic attitude, channel that carefree energy of the Fool, and JUST DO IT ALREADY. It's not that long of a project. Just. Get. To. It. Think of it as a sort of intellectual adventure if that makes it easier. Lots of positive potential in these cards, but really calls for deliberate work/action on my part to follow through on this opportunity.

Ok, so content-wise, again, as last time, this makes a lot of sense. I'm doing my entry on this former Chechen President/alleged terrorist figure (don't want to use the name because don't want it possibly popping up in google searches associated with my tarot blog, lol /paranoia) and basically...part of my own view of him, and something I am trying to get across even in the context of a medium that calls for OBJECTIVITY in writing...

Well the strength card, represents earlier part of his involvement in the conflict pretty well. He played a major role in the success of the Chechen seperatists in the first war, both in terms of being chief of staff of the chechen military and in terms of playing a major role in being a pragmatic negotiator with the Russians in making the peace. He wasn't an extremist, but a nationalist, who wanted peace but also wanted Chechnya to be its own country. Of course, he wasn't successful either my force or my more peaceful means in dealing with all the problems in the country as President, and the whole idea of the snake lurking there, and playing with fire...during the second war he was increasingly allied to the wahhabist/terrorist extremists like basayev and khattab et al. Did call for holy war, made moves to institutionalize some semblence of shariah law...arguabely forced to by the situation, increasingly loss of control, rise of influence of the extremist salafists and criminal gangs and russian intractability but...on the other hand...and here's where the moon card really comes in: was he, when it comes down to it, a violent terrorist like the Russians claim? Did he in fact implicitly condone acts of terror like the theatre seige and beslan and all the suicide bomb attacks? Or was he a moderate forced into increasingly difficult/impossible position my extremists on both sides of the conflict? When you look at the atrocities and war crimes Russian forces committed with impunity in Chechnya... and up until his death he was still trying to call for ceasefires and negotiation...but was that done out of lingering moderate impulses or the desperation of his position?

Much room for interpretation, debate. Various sources say vastly different things...must find a nice, academic, objective way of trying to convey all this in ~1000 words along with all the basic biographical information

And yeah, again, this was quite useful use of the cards :]
Interesting too, that it was all majors that came up this time...

dealing with disappointing others

A while ago I did a reading about dealing with being disappointed. While that is definitely a useful subject, it occurs to me, due to some things going on right now, that I also have definite issues with dealing with disappointing others. Not with being a disappointment, but with taking specific actions that are likely to result in someone else being disappointed.

Essentially, this is a kind of conflict between my INTP/Queen of Swords type logical nature and my Cancer side...because the more I think on it, the more it seems just due to empathy. The INTP in me doesn't like to think of myself as empathetic, per se, but...it's really not about people 'hating' me. Yes, I try to be nice and please people when I can but...not at all costs. If I am being reasonable, and someone isn't happy, their problem, eh? And in some cases, this is in dealing with people who I don't even particularly like/am not impressed with/have clearly shown they don't care all that much about my needs/feelings. And yet...I still feel a bit guilty disappointing them. Why? Because I know how crappy that feels and I can't help but want to...not inflict that feeling on others if I can avoid it. But the INTP in me says, you need to take care of yourself too. This is what you need to do, regardless of the possible effects. Inner conflict inner conflict so let us draw some cards then, eh?


What's interesting here, of course is that it's a three card draw of all reversals. That's always something to take note of. I know a lot of people don't read with reversals but for me, with the exception of a few decks where it just feels wrong to do so, I do. Always have. See, when I first started reading, and found out there was the option - well, being the slightly masochistic must challenge meself person that I am, of course, new to Tarot, I would choose the option that meant learning twice as many meanings! Lol, but really, at this point it feels natural to me, and reversals just add....shade and nuance to readings that I appreciate. But nonetheless, an all reversal reading is still a bit 0__o. In context though, it does make sense.

Here's the message I get from these cards - sometimes, you just can't really win. You can't have it all, you can't somehow magically synthesize two opposing desires and make everyone happy happy and please yourself and please others and get what YOU need to get done, done while also doing the thing that someone else wants you to do for them, and you will drive yourself crazy if you insist on trying.

If you want to look at it from that kind of perspective, either way there's a negative - either you are 'selfish' and 'flakey' or you are making yourself miserable and stressed being 'flakey' regarding other things. If you try to please everyone someone, and possibly even everyone, will end up losing anyway. You really do just have to pick one or the other and accept the opportunity cost/loss and move on, stop dwelling and feeling needless guilt over doing what you need to do. Which is not to say the choice is necessarily the same in all situations - if it's a choice between spending a day relaxing and de-stressing, a nice planned mental-health day as it were, and doing a much-needed favor for a good friend, perhaps you do need to sacrifice the me-time; if it's a choice between getting through some of that huge pile of academic obligation and house cleaning/organization and errands that's looming over you, or making time to meet with someone who has shown very limited interest in your needs, well then, looks like it's time to just focus on doing what you need to do for you.

Use logic to make the objectively best decision you can given the limitations of your situation.

Empathy is a good thing. Compassion and consideration are all good things. Need to remember to apply them to yourself too, though. Sometimes you need to put your needs aside and really help someone out. Other times, you needs to put yourself first. Both are perfectly legitimate decisions. Your needs are worthwhile too.

Quick Card-Based Story

Another random tarot exercise for the stretching of the mind. Nothing too unique, story based on the cards. I've done this before, even gone to a tarot meeting with this as a presentation subject. Before though, I did it based on one card. Here, doing it on a three card draw. Though, because I'm a bit short on time (procrastination ftw) going to keep this succinct.

---

We arrived on the colony as planned. It was much as they said it would be and yet...it didn't feel like the land of new possibilities, not really. The geologists had told us that there were stones under the earth, so very many rich deposits of gems and minerals that we could mine and trade back to the home world. They told us the land was fertile and rich in the valleys, that we could grow much food, perhaps even enough to export, once we used the tools we'd brought and planted the seeds. They told us many things, and we came. And we came, and all we could see was rocks, treacherous mountain-tops on hard, cold earth. It was darker here than the home-world...the nights stretched on and on and there was only one single moon to illuminate the sky, meagerly. There were rodents that scrambled about and bits of old bones in gullies and we were overwhelmed. 

So we opened the shell. We opened the shell where she, our princess, had slept, had waited out the longer journey from our world to this one. She alone among the court had chosen to come with us, to this new world, this new adventure, this new place. She arose from the shell with fresh flowers still braided into her her and she grinned, looked around and grinned at all of us. She raised her arms in toast, in possibility. Her beaver-familiar, always presented, mimicked her, and we all felt lighter, somehow. She would see a way through this for us, we thought then.

And she did. Where we saw cold earth she saw the possibility of plants, of lions running about through verdant grass, of vines and blossoms curling over the rocks, of glittering gems fashioned into wreaths. We followed her vision. We followed her vision of zebra-stripped trees, of valleys of flowering grass, of fresh fruit and greens. We introduced wildlife, and we did not cage them or run from them. The lions and monkeys played with our children, learned from them, taught. We scrambled among the mine-caves, the branches of trees, swam in the long winding rivers that were the closest thing this world had to a sea. The short periods of light saw all of us outside, basking in the rays, and in the dark we built sea-shell shaped torches that glowed white and gold and here, here our children grew taller, climbed higher, knew more, this world of strange possibility where lions could sit on zebra-striped trees and through hard work we could grow rich.

My Favorite Majors: The Emperor

So yeah, the Emperor. This is a card that doesn't really grab me in any way. I neither love in nor hate it; don't have any strong conceptual issues with it, but don't identify with it either. I don't really have trouble reading it in spreads, so...it's there. That said, the standard type image of the man sitting in a throne...not the most exciting or evocative of things. It took me a bit of looking through my decks to settle on the favorites here.

IV. Emperor

Favorite:

Evocative - that's what comes to mind when I look at this card, what this emperor has that so many, for me, do not. I love the rich, lavish atmosphere of the Legacy of the Divine take on this - it LOOKS like the setting that an emperor, a man of real power and authority, might find himself in. I love the use of color - gold and purple for imperial authority, the red and gold to suggest martial discipline, the stained glass Aries in the back. Just really stunning to look at. Also, for me, this cards evokes easily both positive and negative aspects of the card: on the one hand, look at how much you can achieve if you act decisively, if you can organize and be disciplined and assertive; on the other, look how much power is concentrated in the hands of one man - is that fair, really? Does he deserve all of those riches? Why does he get to take so much when others have so little. Ah, musings on the nature and legitimacy of authority...

Runner Up:

I was originally going to choose something else as my runner up card, but shuffling through Swedish Witch I realized just how much I enjoy this one. First of all, I love how much relevant symbolism is packed into each of the major arcana in this deck, really. Like this one, a lot of the traditional RWS/Thoth Emperor symbols, like the eagle shield, the ram, the crown, etc, but done an original and quite aesthetically pleasing way. Also? It has a PANDA (and bamboo for it to eat too!). Come on, a PANDA - how cool is that? I don't even know the possible symbolic significance of pandas in the context of this card but it fills me with much amusement nonetheless. My only small issue with this Emperor is his expression - a bit too happy/laid back/jolly looking for my conceptual take on this major. But still, its very pretty and I likey much.

on uncertainty

A bit pressed for time, comme d'habitude, but decided to do a quick reading for myself on the subject of all the uncertainty in my life right now.

There's a few things, really. For one, I'm finishing up reading for the first session of my Cyberwar class tonight. Now, usually I'm pretty confident in my abilities, academically speaking...but taking this class in part to fulfill a requirement for my grad program and in part because I didn't want to be a coward and back out of a class I could learn a lot from just because I don't already feel comfortable with the material...but I admit I feel a bit overwhelmed and...yes, uncertain. I just...don't know nearly as much about things like computer networks as I do about the middle east or somalia or chechnya or ethnic conflicts or history or languages etc etc etc. and being a grad level class...it makes me a bit nervous.

Also there is the fact that my housing situation is so chaotic right now - as in been staying in a hotel last few days due to floors being redone, and going to have to juggle moving back in with work AND class tomorrow and just...gah. And I have an article thing I'm supposed to write by the end of the month for something that is actually going to be published and...yeah. And that's not even touching on personal life stuff and yeah...lots and lots of uncertainty floating around my life and brain right now.

So I draw these two cards. First impression....lots of blue :0

But really, such a nice, succint, reassuring message here. Of all the courts I identify most with the Queen of Swords, both in her positive and her negative aspects, and here she is, upright: You can do it, man. Attitude, experience, intellectual-wise, all of it - you have it. You have the sword and the crystal ball, the emotional grounding and the logic to guide you and...you can handle this nonsense. Maybe it won't be so easy, but hey, you're used to not easy, right? You laugh in the face of not easy. Come on now, chin up, use you inner wisdom and stop with all this self doubt. You can totally do it because you have the inner resources to handle all of this.

And it will turn out well, all of it. If you work hard, you'll do fine in the class, well enough to be reasonably pleased with yourself. Your housing situation, pain in the ass or no, will be settled in a few days and then you'll be nice and comfortable and have shiny re-done floors to boot! You can get that writing done. Success, and being able to be happy with yourself at your success, is totally within the realm of possible, graspable, do-able. And this is a LOGICAL ASSESSMENT OF THE SITUATION THE QUEEN OF SWORDS SAYS SO LOGIC, MAN, LOGIC. So LISTEN :]

Also, emphasis on that Ten of Cups. When you do handle it, when you do succeed despite stress and nervousness and whatever other obstacles your mind or life may throw at you...give yourself CREDIT for it. Pat yourself on the back. Do something nice for yourself. Positive-reinforcement and all that.

But yeah, the gist: stop worrying so much, you can handle it and things will turn out fine.

...good to hear :0

memory & cards exercise

Well, here is another attempt on my part to explore relationship with the cards through various not-quite-a-reading type exercises. This idea is pretty straightforward - draw card, and working mostly off of the images on the card, write about a specific memory. Not general 'things i used to do' but of a specific place and moment in time. Then if possible connect that back with the 'traditional' meaning of the card. So...

I've never really ridden a horse, I don't think. There was a birthday party for the granddaughter of a family friend when I was maybe twelve or thirteen. I vaguely recall there being a pony there for a while. The younger kids took turns riding it. I honestly can't remember if I did. I was a good bit older than them, and had never been stereotypical 'I want a pony girl' so it's very possible I might have passed. It was a short ride around in a circle on a front lawn in suburbia type thing, highly unexciting.

I have ridden on a camel. Also nothing too terribly exciting, except that it was in Egypt, in Giza in front of the pyramids. Of course, made less pleasant by the fact that the camels had sores and flies on them and I felt bad for the animals. It was exciting and yet so...controlled. So touristy. Being led in a line across a small stretch of desert and back. I never really like that touristy feel, have a far too easy time seeing myself and companions through the eyes of the ones doing the talking and guiding and whatever and just...I don't like the falseness of it. No doubt useful way to see the 'sights' and yet... My least favorite part of that trip to Egypt was the few days we stayed in Hurgada. It was so pretty and clean and full of Western style restaurants and just so...immaculately touristy. Some people spent entire vacations in places like that, in Sharm-el-Sheik. I just wanted to leave, leave, leave. When I travel, and i DO love traveling more than almost anything else, I want to really EXPERIENCE the place to which I am going. A tourist resort is not Egypt, not the real Egypt, no. It was later, that last week where, having no one to do things with I spent entire days walking around Cairo alone. Some people raise eyebrows when I mention that bit. talk about safety, but...nothing happened, nothing at all.

I walked across the long bridge from Zamalek, through Tahrir square, on the news so much these days but then, before all of that started, perfectly ordinary. There were always people sitting around in front of the stone railing around the bridges, enjoying the Nile, and yes, especially around sunset the Nile was beautiful. Once or twice I bough roasted corn from a street vendor. It was vegan after all, and tasted good enough; like corn. I crossed those massive busy streets with no real intersections, no lights or walk signs you just wait for an opportunity and run across. There was a man selling tea under an underpass, where lots of people also gathered and sat because summer is so hot there and underpass means shade. I definitely admired the women wearing the black abayas, covered entirely and in black in that heat. Some men wore gallabiyas which are similar shaped but light-colored, not the same thing at all.

There was that store in a very, very un-touristy neighborhood which sold koshari, this really yummy dish of pasta and fried onions and lentils and tomato sauce and chickpeas in huge tubs and for so cheap, given exchange rates. The big stores in the downtown area you passed, the movie theatre, the way you walked and walked because what else was there to do, stop in a cafe for a glass of chilled mango juice because it was so hot, so fucking hot and the cafe was cool, walk further, the book store full of books you can't understand, walk further, take in everything with your ears, your eyes, wish you could run away, stay here, the unfamiliarity of it all, walk further, go.

Exploring the world. Same concept, really, the woman on the horse with the bow. The nine staves, nine obstacles, a fence of faces, ideas of what you shouldn't do. Stay within these limits. Stay within these rules. This is safe. This is safe. This is what you are used to. She doesn't need anyone with her - she is ready, excited to go, confident that she can take on anything, in night or day, whatever, let us see something, let us go. My approach to life really. Some would call me reckless, and I won't deny that, but I don't think all recklessness is necessarily bad. A bit of danger does make things more exciting. Jumping out of a plane was the best thing I've ever done. And if I am in a new place, an interesting place, a place I might never have the chance to visit again, why shouldn't I take the chance and walk around and explore and see what i can? If I have no one to do it with should I let that limit me? No, no, no. Even here, in my neighborhood, which some people seem to think is not the safest of places...I've walked around alone, after dark, and it was fine. Nothing happened. Nothing bothered me.

Not that this is always advice I'd give others, not least of which because my priorities in life ARE kind of skewy, but...refuse to let such supposed obstacles limit me. Not obstacles of others, vague, and [working on] not obstacles in my mind...expplore, explore, see how much you can do, and if that is recklessness, so be it, I am reckless. I really would prefer a short but interesting life anyway.

shiny new deck :D

So - due to my life and especially my housing situation being in a state of perpetual chaos, I woke up this morning to the sight and sound of random men entering my bedroom to measure the floors...fun times...

On the bright side, however, my roommate had gone to ask the building manager about fixing broken sink and she came back to hand still half-asleep me a package. What was in the package, you may ask? A new deck! :D

And not just any deck, but one I've very much been a hankering for as of late...the Tarot de Marrakesh.

This one comes out of France, and what makes it special, to me...is well, the fact that it is so very North African themed.

See, I've been studying French and Arabic for years now, very academically interested in the North Africa/Mid-East region spent last semester doing a ton of reading and writing about security issues in North Africa, want desperately to visit Tunisia/Algeria/Morocco (in that order of preference, lol) and yeah, I could go on...

So of course I would want this deck very much as soon as I set my eyes on scans of it. And now it is in my clutches!

The art is so genuine a capture of North African Arab-Berber culture, and I love the art style, and the limited color palette of the cards really works well, in my opinion at least. There's a minimalism here that just...works. Also quite like the titles on the majors. Interesting. I'm actually going to read the lwb that comes with the deck because...curious :0

Pips are unillustrated, but at this point I'm comfortable reading those, so no problemo there. And to make things even simpler, the standard wands = fire, swords = air associations are used.

Sadly, I have a bunch of other obligations, both life, school, and reading-related that I need to take care of before I can get to working with this deck but...yay it is MINE ALL MINE :D