Wednesday, April 25, 2012

looking for a bright spot

I feel like as much as I try to maintain a bit of a cordon-sanitaire between the tarot blog and other aspects of my life...a lot of posts recently have had the theme of I Am Overwhelmed. What can I say? I am indeed quite overwhelmed by so many things...

Well. Decided to step away from the thoth and my deck of the week(s) and just...my favorite, my comfort deck. A quick one card draw: show me I bright spot, in all of this muck. Show me something to focus on when I just want to give up, give in, stop.

The fish in the cup. That little, silly fish popping out the place you would least expect it to be - that is, if you are all serious minded, no nonsense type...

Flights of fancy. Wishes and dreams and little acts of creativity. Small things that perhaps amuse no one but me...

Trying to maybe plan a trip to the Library of Congress with a friend on Saturday. That would certainly be a place to find inspiration, imagination...

Little things. Perhaps I shall wear my Ravenclaw shirt to class tonight. Lots of blue in this card. The Ravenclaw shirt is blue too. It makes me smile, every time I put in on, even if most people around me wouldn't get why.

Imagination, creativity, the little poems, ideas...I feel very uninspired in writing this paper I have to get done by tomorrow...far too tired and stressed to be inspired to do that arabic presentation I'm supposed to have done by tomorrow too...another night of no sleep, no dreams at all and yet...

The fish is still there, waiting. Maybe you are tired to really see it right now. But it is still there. If you can get through, this last big, seemingly impossible challenge...The fish that you will chat it, the way you sometimes talk aloud to yourself, in funny accents, just because. The way you sometimes amuse yourself while walking to wherever you need to go by trying to say the same thing in english, polish, arabic, french...

New things, interesting things, inspiring things...an entire ereader to fill with books, to read, so many things, fishies, wild ideas, possibilities, wonders...new things...if you can only get through, hold it together a little bit longer, yes.


(Randomly written at work yesterday. Seems appropriate to this, come to think of it...)

3 comments:

Marina said...

I really liked your little poem! Beautiful! :)

I thought that perhaps this card is telling you to remember the 'fishes you already caught' in your journey. You victories, what you have accomplished, regardless of how small they may appear compared to your responsibilities.

And I agree with you... a fish is a small creature from the world of emotions, of dreams, of fantasy. In the moments you feel reality is demanding too much, you can escape... talk to this little fish. Write little poems.

Excessive escapism is not good, but a bit of it is necessary, specially if you are a creative person. Otherwise the practical life and suck you dry!

Alison Cross said...

Wear your shirt and do a thousand other tiny creative things that maybe even only YOU are aware of. I was in Edinburgh a few weeks ago and found, chalked on a boarded up club, these words: You're beautiful when you smile.

And it made me smile.

We were on a bus chuntering home to the flat we had rented and I spotted a poster sellotaped to the inside of a bedroom window that simply said 'You ARE a legend!!!'

Tiny things that must brighten up a thousand lives burdened by boredom - or papers that MUST be written.

A fish in a cup - a tiny thing to brighten your life. See how many you can find!

Ali x

Bonkers said...

Thank you, both of you! Your insight and advice much appreciated!

:]

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