Wednesday, December 28, 2011

repeating message

It's funny, really, the way tarot tends to tell you exactly what you need to hear. This is one of the reasons I actually find doing general/non-specific readings and draws to be an interesting/worthwhile exercise. When you ask a specific question, you get a specific answer (assuming the question was appropriately phrased and answerable, that is.) When you just let the cards say what they will...they do, haha.

Sometimes what they tell you isn't what you want to hear. Sometimes, you're fine with hearing it, and you can recognize the rightness of the message. But...follow through? Not so much.

Like good advice from a well meaning friend. Thank you, I appreciate your input you say, nod, mean it. And then you just...continue on as it were.

And then the message shows up again. In another deck, and another, months later, somewhat differently 'phrased' but the same basic meaning, yes.

Like this, last night, was trying to draw cards for a random tarot-based creative writing exercise idea I had and yet these were so very clearly a message for me I couldn't do anything else with them. I love this Judgement card, by the by. The universe is playing her jazz, calling you up - look at all those souls listening, following the rhythm, making the choice to move on, move forward move upwards toward bigger and better things and where are you, exactly? Listening to those notes on the ground but not feeling them in your bones, your soul, not really. Ignoring because its easier. Because to listen to the call you have to make a choice. You already know what's working in your life and what isn't. Judgement is CHOOSING to do something about it. Choosing what to take with you in that climb higher and what to leave behind.

What could you have in this life, if you were willing to make that decision, to take that great leap, to strip away everything that bogs you down, that smothers you under a thick heap and just climb, naked, the essential soul-you, beyond it? What could you do? What could you attain? Who could you be?

Anyone, anything, everything. Whatever you could hold in your grip, whatever you wanted to pursue - well, within reason of course, but the possibilities, comparatively speaking.

It's all a matter of potential, isn't it? How much potential do you have? What could you accomplish if you had the energy and motivation and power and confidence to really grasp at those opportunities, those maybes, those dreams?

And in whose power is it to change all that, to start something new? Who can make that decision? Who?
You, always you, only you. It is in you r hands, your clutched fingertips the coins, to have, to hold, to drop. You ears listening, your hands trembling and what will you do? How long will this go on for? You, you, you. No one else can do anything for you here - it is all YOU and you know what's called for.

Repetitive messages...
But now shrinks the place where you stand:
Where now, stripped by shade, will you go?
Upward. Grope your way up.
Thinner you grow, less knowable, finer.
Finer: a thread by which
it wants to be lowered, the star:
to float farther down, down below
where it sees itself gleam: in the swell
of wandering words.
*poem excerpt from Speak, You Also by Paul Celan 


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