Sunday, March 4, 2012
I must admit...the Tower was not what I was expecting. I mean, yes this is a change, a bit of a break from the stress of school and work, but not THAT big a change. And certainly there is no need or reason to shake things up with my parents in any major way.
Thinking about it more, though, it occurs to me...well, the Tower has been thematically on my mind for quite a bit now...there are just so many things in my life that need this kind of change - large and small things - and yet making it happen is so difficult....and of course, its even MORE difficult to do what you need to do to knock down the tower and deal with all of that scary, sometimes painful consequence - to long drop into the ocean below - if you are also dealing with the demands of everyday life. How exactly does one go about taking care of major, longer term problems when there are three papers due and presentations and two hundred pages of reading?
So I have a few days away from all that, a bit of time to breath. I have a couple of things that need change eventually, some moreso than others, some changes more major, some more immediate...and of course, something of the magnitude of the Tower can't necessarily be taken care of in three or four days but...if you break it down, there are concrete steps you can take, basic things that will move you a few steps forward in the right direction. Making productive use of the free time to actually follow through on doing those...yes, yes that would indeed be a good way to spend the next few days.
Also, perhaps the mental aspect as well. Dealing with Tower-level change is difficult: the fire burning, the building, the things that are so familiar (even if not good for you, really) crumbling, the feeling of things falling away...it is its own type of stress, and taking some time to process that mindfully...especially when you know you have to be the one to blow up the Tower in the first place...yes, some mindful thinking and acceptance work...again, not a bad idea at all.