Thursday, October 25, 2012

the blah and the yay

Not a very eloquent title, I know, but what can I say?  Not feeling especially eloquent at the moment.

The first card in this draw totally describes how I've been feeling the last couple of days. The Silicon Dawn, among its many other fun and interesting aspects, switches around the pentacles and wands suits, not just in elemental association but, by and large, in meaning. This card, roughly equivalent, then, to the seven of wands, shows us a centaur figure, generally grounded, better balanced than us bipeds, in a very unstable, uncomfortable place. Shadows and worries lurk all around it. The building in front of him looks like it might collapse, topple forward and crush him. On guard against many things indeed.

To expand a bit on my earlier reading, the step I was taking on Monday was a scheduled visit to a psychiatrist. That did in fact go well, insofar that we seemed to click, he seemed to be knowledgeable, and I was prescribed two medications, one I'd taken before and found very helpful, and a new one. Unfortunately, thus far the new has been causing me constant, intense nausea and no appetite. Then there is three-day long headache, tooth pain, and the stress of having one, possible two very important school papers to write by Monday, as well as various other small things that need to be done lurking around in the background. So yes, little centaur, you reflect how I've been feeling.

On the other hand, this card is also rather...well, melodramatic. A post-apocalyptic scene. Is life really that much of a disaster? No, of course not. And he does seem to have tools or weapons of some kind strapped to his body, something to work with.

Of course, the second card is a still-better reminder. Three figures ride together in loops and spirals through space, intimately connected, celebrating with one another, enjoying and steadying one another. While such a party is very much not on the agenda, this reminder of friendship is a very good one. The background here makes me think of the internet, which like space is so vast and yet so difficult to really measure, to wrap our minds around all that it entails behind the scenes. I am very fortunate to have some really amazingly supportive friends in various corners of the internet, some of whom I have had a great time with in person, some not. I know for a fact that I would be a much lonelier person without these connections, and that some of the positive steps I've taken over the years to improve myself were done at least in part because of the gentle pushes/support/advice from these friends. Definitely not something to forget about or take lightly.

Even with this: one online friend suggested ginger tea. I had some because of a Halloween package exchange I'm doing with some other great people elsewhere online. It helped me feel a bit better. In fact, I shall go make another cup, then focus on tackling some of those things, one at a time...


thesycamoretree said...

Loved your title on this post. :D Hope you're feeling better soon.

Bonkers said...

thank you :]

Carla said...

I love the blah and the yay!

Anonymous said...

thanks for sharing.

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