Sunday, September 9, 2012

You Only Live Once Spread

Ran across this lovely tarot spread by Yineth on the Aeclectic forum and decided it'd be nice to give it a try, especially since there seems to be a lot of...difficult energy in my life right now that I cannot seem to quite get on top of as well as usual.

Position 1: Y- "You" 
The subject (You) in the situation. A snapshot of your life, a summary of current events, where you see yourself in your life, etc. An overview of what is occurring currently. I've considered this position being allowed to be a "significator" position also. 

The Knight of Cups rides, in this deck, upon some quite turbulent waves. The appearance of chaos here, in many ways: bits and pieces of his armor falling off of him, the cup barely in his grasp, the horse beneath him in constant motion, trying to gain stability by holding onto that black water-spout, a thing so inherently unstable?

And why does he go on, keep trying in such circumstances/? Conviction, emotional conviction that this is worth doing, that this is right, the constant juxtaposition of emotion and logic, air in water, yes no yes no yes. And yet, he isn't without his resources, the stable, loyal horse beneath him which keeps on going, unbothered by the turbulence. And perhaps getting rid of some of that stiff, stern armor has some advantages to make up for the loss of protection?

Quite on point, this. The feeling of too many moving pieces, instability, loss perhaps good, perhaps bad, perhaps both, things falling away, so much effort and focus seemingly needed just to keep minimally on top of things and yet conviction, some semblance of it, keep on going because I am committed to things, must...

Position 2: O- "Only"
The absolute focus/distraction that is deterring any change to occur currently. For example, a workaholic's drive to provide for their family while overlooking everything else that matters.

Velocity, momentum, moving swiftly forward, always toward toward something. The figure is bright orange, full of energy, fire, running with all those lit torches, needing to get them somewhere, accomplish something, the dog nearby, willing to help his master but also expecting this, the chase, the progress.

I have mentioned before, and I do realize it is mostly deliberate, on my part but...this year as a whole, life has been very much rapid, mad movement. Some kind of intense personal things happening, nothing major but enough to throw things off balance, and the rush of so much schoolwork to do, and then mad planning and packing for the trip, and that whole experience - wonderful, amazing, and yet not exactly a quiet time to relax - and then getting back and a mad rush to find somewhere to live, to move, which is followed now by mad schoolwork rush and...

Yes, I don't feel I've really had proper chance to devote much mental focus to dealing with some of the background issues, problems, things that need work and change, and that all piles up with the new, and everything just keeps rolling forward what feels like far too quickly and yet - how can I take a real break when there are all these obligations, external deadlines, always pushing me forward?

Position 3: L- "Live"
How is the above/previous/before subject affecting you now? How will it impact you in the long run?

Discontent, that apathetic kind of dissatisfaction in which you are well aware that things are wrong and yet it seems so much easier to just wallow in it than to DO something to change the situation. Through the metaphor of the poppies, which the rower in the boat seems to be bringing over to the figure in the forefront, who has clearly used them before, the metaphor, if not precisely apt, of using various not-so-great coping mechanisms, forms of escapism, ways to distance yourself from the world around you.

The mood of this card is so...cold. The figure in standing in front of that chilly marsh, not alone in the image, and yet might as well be. Detached, removed from each other...actually, for me personally, this brings to mind a certain kind of intense dissociation I seem to experience when my mood gets low for longer periods of time. I can still function and do things fine, keep up with the motions of that velocity, the movement of the previous cards and yet, that's what it feels like really...apathetic, discontented, disconnected keeping up with the motions.

And the distancing, the decay of friendship that the book mentions around this card...I have a number of friends who are all trying to get in touch with me, make plans for spending time together...and I am having so much trouble motivating myself to sort out my schedule, return their calls, not because I do not want to seem them but because doing so just feels so...overwhelming; they seem so far away, that water between the figures so murky...

Clearly, given the metaphor of the poppies in this card especially, this is a situation that really does have the potentially to continue to decline. Four of cups is always about well, sitting around feeling miserable gets you nowhere at all, nowhere good, long or short term.

Position 4: O- "Once"
What you could/can do to change things or be better made aware of.

What strikes me about this spread as a whole is the theme of friendship, companionship, connection - the knight has his horse, the rapid runner his dog, the miserable figure his misery loves company friend, and these two of course, materially comfortable, still nonetheless rely on and support each other. A message perhaps, for me to continue to challenge my natural instinct to isolate myself when I'm not feeling so great, to try to do everything on myself, to insist on not 'bothering' or 'burdening' others. The exchange - both giving AND receiving help and support - can be hugely beneficial, in all kinds of circumstances.

This card also shows a kind of ascent, the pentacles moving up a path from the earthly to the higher up. Focusing not only the immediate, here and now issues but also on the higher things, mental health, inner work, nurturing creativity and inspiration and all of that.

Affluence comes in many forms, and by only focusing on trying to keep things afloat in one aspect, it undermines the whole, and as a net result I find it harder even to keep up with that one main thing. Making some time for the others in spite of the momentum and pressure I feel to keep moving might be a rather good idea.

I have been thinking that vaguely already actually...doing something for my holistic health...perhaps signing up for some yoga classes or some such to get started. I keep thinking I don't really have the time, it seems like a waste of money, etc but....maybe I should just do it anyway, to help get out of that apathetic rut.


espearite said...

I've been feeling like I could give this spread a try. Thanks for sharing it on your blog :)

Inner Whispers said...

What an interesting spread!

It's so easy to isolate yourself when you're not feeling great. Still, I hope you will allow the occasional contact, the odd helping hand...

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