Saturday, July 14, 2012

changes and exploration

So yeah, another spot-on little draw here. Changes. Smaller ones, and vaster. Second session of my language program begins on Monday. Two of my previous classmates gone, and a third, new one to join us. A new roommate, who may or may not be the new classmate, is moving into the apartment tomorrow. The class schedule will be different too, earlier on in the day, to account for the fact that Ramadan is set to begin soon.

That will certainly be a change, and something quite new to experience. A lot of things not open during the day, restaurants, cafes, stores. A lot of places open much later at night. Looking forward to it.

Larger changes too, loom. More than halfway through my time here, now. In a bit over a month, I shall be on a plane back to the US, where I still have to figure and find a place to live, a job, where I still have to figure out exactly what I want to do with classes, fall semester, everything.

Changes and decisions and indecision. It strikes me how easily I am willing to embark on the new when it is literal: going somewhere, seeing something, trying out a new activity...and how difficult it is for me to let go and really embark on change when it is bigger than that, more abstract - behaviors, habits, patterns of thinking that I KNOW no longer serve me well and yet, change seems in so many ways simply unattainable.

Together though, this pair reminds me to focus on navigating the small; perhaps, in small steps, the larger will become clearer. Focus on making the most out of things. I try to see things as an adventure, a wonder - everything that happens, good or bad, is something to learn from. Everything that happens to you has some kind of intrinsic value.

Have been exploring in a more literal way too, walking around old parts of the city, further away, less familiar. Long train rides over water, crowded and shoved in among strangers. Cobblestone streets at sunset, beautiful.


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