Wednesday, June 27, 2012

birthday message

So yes, four and twenty I now am, it would seem.

Decided to do a birthday reading. First a card with a single message in and of itself, then a bit longer and more complex going into detail spread for myself, which I shall keep to myself got now, methinks.

But for that first, general message, this card came up. The wheel of fortune. Both as a reflection of the last year and as advice/perspective for times ahead, I think the message here is quite apt.

The world - your world - is always moving, spinning, changing. Nothing stays the same. You change, and so do the people around you, and your circumstances. Everything that has a beginning has an end. When something is particularly enjoyable, great, its good to both make the most of it in the moment, and to remember that it will not - cannot - last forever. Enjoy, but don't cling too much when it goes; don't spend too much energy on disappointment or that melancholy type of nostalgia once it is over. Instead just move on, seek new things. There are ALWAYS new things to be discovered, explored, made the most of.

Similarly, when things are at a low point, it's worth keeping in mind that this, too, will not last forever. Things will improve, even if slowly, bit by bit. Even if only temporarily. You mind find an opportunity when you least expect it, or from a direction you hadn't even considered. Best way to make sure you can see it and grasp it is to keep an open mind, and open eye.

Be flexible. Roll with the changes that make come. One day you might be a poor seller of birds; the next day the heir to the throne; later on, one of those same birds, in need of rescuing. So it goes. So the world spins. Spin with it. See where it takes you. All things begin and all things end and all things change and there is no use in anything but accepting what changes may come.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Reinforcing the message

Sometimes I read about specific issues, or with specific focuses, or using specific exercises in mind. Other times though, I find it interesting to just draw cards with absolutely no questions or ideas in mind, and just see what pops up. I trend I notice with that is that...the cards tend to return to the same themes, the same ideas that I apparently need to hear. This holds true even when I switch decks - and apparently, mediums.

I wrote about Attitude Adjustment a little while ago, while on the trip to the south of the country. To be honest, while it HAS been on my mind, as I've settled into a more regular routine here in Tunis...well, let's just say it's always easier to settle back into old/established thought/action patterns than it is to really do the work of creating new ones. Which isn't to say I've failed utterly at this just....not doing as much as I could be. Anyway, part of yesterdays random/daily draws with my VRR, and then this mornings on-a-whim work with the Arcana Stones really kind of caught my attention/amused me...

ANOTHER version of the Ace of Swords card, this time coming up as a 'shadow card' in a more day-centered draw, reminding me of the general theme of new thinking, learning to approach things better, etc. that I SHOULD be keeping in mind. I love the image there, the fairy girl on the cliff, sitting, perhaps resting but perhaps procrastinating/hesitating, and the flying bird to show her the way off, into the new...

In this morning's random arcana stones throw we have the mother of pearl stone, representing the Moon card, landing in the 12th House...the house of limitation, seclusion, self-undoing. Letting my more negative thoughts, letting uncertainty and mental confusion/chaos and things I KNOW I shouldn't be listening to in my head limit/get to me... We also have the mahogany obsidian stone, representing Death card, landing in the 8th house - the house of changes, endings and beginnings....a doubly emphasized message if I've ever seen one. These two stones taken together pretty much seem synonymous with that Ace of Swords card there and....yeah.

Echoing messages. Good to pay them mind, methinks...

Sunday, June 24, 2012

owning your difference

So first of all - over the last few months, though I've been working with a number of decks, quite a bit of my tarot has been with the Thoth. I usually don't work with a single deck for so long, but I really connected with that one. I think it's time, now, for me to put reading/study of that deck aside for a bit. Since I have been having less time for Tarot here in Tunisia generally, going to shift to really working with only one deck at a time, for a week or two at a time.

This week I've started with my Russian Victorian Romantic. Even though it's only my second day with it, I'm already reminded of why this deck is so high up on my favorites - each draw I've done so far has been insightful, relevant, deeply evocative...

Today, part of a larger spread was these two cards. In the first, the seven of wands, we see a man with a bayonet in his grasp, clearly at odds with the rest of the world. Sometimes, I think, this card really can stand for outright confrontation, but it can also just recall a more general 'me vs. the world feeling': the feeling of not belonging, of being an outside, the 'other' - of always having your hackles up because on some level, if the questions is 'with' or 'against', you would not fall into the 'with' category...

Sometimes the not belonging feeling is more general, more dramatic, and clearer. What comes to mind for me right now, of course, is the experience of living in a foreign country, and especially a country where the language, culture, and general standards of living are significantly different from what you are used to. To a degree, I suppose, vacation/tourism type travel gives you a taste of that feeling, but those trips tend to be shorter...the difference you feel is fleetingly exotic, daily activities often planned, and [for more middle class of higher type trips at least] the accommodations and amenities are very much arranged to maximize your sense of familiarity and comfort.

I've traveled abroad in the past, but before there was always at least some degree of that...traveling in a group, staying in hotels, or traveling alone but visiting family, or traveling with family, etc. Here, I am staying in a regular apartment in a middle class neighborhood in a suburb of Tunis. I take the public train to my language school, or when I want to explore, and taxis to places that are more difficult to get to. I walk. I shop for groceries at the corner store or the weekly trip to the large Carrefour, the equivalent of a Walmart here. My french is rusty but enough to mostly get by, and my arabic is improving but since I'm not learning the Tunisian dialect really, and Egpytian dialect is quite different from Tunisian, it's of limited use in conversation, and while between their English and my French and Arabic I can usually communicate whatever I need well enough...the pervasive sense of being an outsider, a foreigner, strange, limited by language, by ignorance of so makes you see, experience the world in a different way.

Of course, there are more intimate and personal forms of otherness too. I've always been a bit of an oddball, from about as early in childhood as I can remember. My mind just jumps to different thought patterns, conclusions, observations, than those of most people. I enjoy different things, and interested differently. Even my speech tends to be...different.

I realized early on that pretending to be someone I am not to try to 'fit in' was never going to work or be worth the cost, and much of the work I've had to do around getting the most out of life has been about...owning that. About doing what I want to do, even if no one around me really understands why. About becoming comfortable with my own company, with doing things by myself. With feeling comfortable in my own skin.

Self-confidence is definitely something I still struggle with, in many contexts. I think this queen of wands really does offer some worthwhile guidance, though. Like the man in the 7 of wands she is alone. But she doesn't see it as a conflict, a problem, a reason to feel stressed or uncomfortable or attacked. No, she simply focuses on herself, on her own thoughts, capabilities. The difference that attitude alone makes, in these two images, is striking.

Of course, self-confidence isn't a magic cure to all the difficulties life can throw our way, but coupled with some flexibility, some empathy, a bit of can help us get far indeed. So many limitations that people face are at least somewhat self-imposed. Here in Tunisia, I watch some of classmates or roommates, whose language skills aren't that much higher than my own (if at all) have much more extended conversations simply because they don't doubt themselves the way that I tend to.

Being comfortable with yourself - all of yourself - can really make so much of a difference in the way you interact with the world. And if the person that you are is just plain unusual, so what?

Here in Tunisia, there are many things to enjoy about the unfamiliar - like the random herd of goats that sometimes wanders around my neighborhood...

Friday, June 22, 2012

taking on the challenge

So I haven't been having so much of a tarot-focused week...too many other things competing for my attention/thoughts, I suppose. Here's another pretty relevant quick draw I did this morning, though.

I really like this take on the nine of swords especially. A card that usually speaks to worries, anxieties, fears - the crippling fear that keeps you awake in the middle of the night, mad swirling thoughts. Here we see a sky full of dark clouds, stormy, but above it all we see quite literally, a light at the end of the tunnel. Things swirling up towards hope. And those dark black birds, the pecking, cawing thoughts, are slowly flying away from the girl. Or are they flying towards her? Could be read both ways, I suppose, but here I see them as flying away - as the need to let worries go sometimes, let them fly off somewhere else and focus on the good.

The influence of the wand queen, see. The shadowscapes is really one of my favorite decks when it comes to the courts. So detailed and expressive, so perfectly capturing the nuances of what the kings and queens and knights and pages each represent. The queen of wands is perfectly at home in her domain, creatively fulfilled, working on what she is good at and what she enjoys, supported by the animals and even the plants. There is light there, an aura of comfort, completeness, self-possession. She is a woman who has already grown much, traveled far, and she continues now to work on advancing further.

These two cards are good reassurance for me right now. I recently voiced my frustration with the uneven pace/student effort in my arabic classes and my wonderfully accommodating language school re-arranged things so that starting next week, my classes will be significantly more challenging. A part of my is feeling that 'oh crap, what did I just do/get myself into' nervousness, but these cards remind me that this is a good thing. Being challenged means learning, getting more out of my experiences, growing and becoming more confident, like this queen is as she plays her instrument.

Time to let the dark birdies fly away indeed.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

working on many things

So yeah, the interesting phenomenon of the mind doing funny things/being all over the place even when, externally, there seems to be no reason for why that should be so. This has been me, the last few days.

Drawing some cards and thinking on things a bit, I think this might at least partly be due to a case of too much of a good this case, getting a bit hyper-focused on my arabic studies. Now of course, being very focused on productive endeavors is not a bad thing, per se, but I find that...too much single-minded focuses, in whatever, really tends to...take things out of perspective. It's easy to become over-invested, especially emotionally, so that things that should be no big deal, or a small annoyance at most, suddenly start to seem momentous, or horridly morale-crushing, or whatever.

Nice as it is to really get INTO your work sometimes, it also raises stakes unnecessarily, and narrows your inner world. Blinders and all that.

I drew some cards from the Shadowscapes to clarify the message/advice from a draw with the Thoth (multi-decking, ha) and got the Emperor for like, the third time in almost as many days. This threw me a bit at first - is it in relation to my approach to the studying? Because really, I don't see how I could be MORE organized - color coded obsessive re-copying of notes into different notebooks organized by topic and all that - but the Ace of Wands gave me pause. There are a lot of cards I might associate with my studies here in Tunisia, the arabic but at this point...Ace of Wands doesn't really feel right for that.

Narrowing of focus again, you see? Impulse assuming that the draw has to be related to the thing foremost on my mind. But take a breath, perspective, zoom out, think wider: what could this be referring to? And after that - it came to me. Ace of Wands for new beginnings, new projects, self-fulfillment, growth, ambition. I am reminded of the fact that I still have NO idea where I will be living, or working/interning when I get back to DC after the summer. While the housing situation is not something I can really work on resolving just yet....working on updating my resume, throwing together some cover letter templates, applying to some positions for the fall - or at least, finding some potential places I could apply to later on in the summer? All certainly things I could get working on now.

I do have some difficulties with self-confidence, mostly because attempts to get 'good' jobs or internships have pretty much been uniformly unsuccessful in the past, but that's where the emperor comes in. Self-discipline to keep working on it, to try again.. Organization in how I approach things. Head held high and all that. It's something useful and productive, an investment in the future, in further new beginnings, and at the same time, it provides some of that much needed wider perspective so I don't get so obsessed and bothered by the little things.

Living in the moment IS good, in many ways so many things, there can be too much of a good thing in that, too.

Monday, June 18, 2012

weaving your way...

Looking at these cards, I'm kind of struck by how apt a representation this spider image is for all that the eight of pentacles usually stands for. Think about how weak, how thin, how delicate a single strand of spider silk seems. Almost laughable, that anything substantial could be made out of that. And yet, undeterred the spider weaves and weaves its way up, creates something it can live on and off of, creates a complicates web, a network of shimmering lines. A method in madness - it connects to branches, to leave, to those glowing green makes something out of seeming nothing for itself, a little niche just right for it. Patience, determination, hard work. How many times does someone, something, casually tear down a spider's web? And out again the spider crawls, afterwards, and starts to weave again and again.

And weaving from what onto where? The girl in the five of cups, surrounded by bowls, some spilled, some still full of fish? What does she need to hold onto, focus on, and what is best left spilled, abandoned, put back in the sea? You lose things all the time. Some losses feel unbearable. Some losses you need to fly free. And yet, in either case, it is so easy, so tempting to focus on the loss, to count so carefully what you still have, and what is no longer yours. It is easy to think ahead, already imaging when you will lose the next bit, and how.

Melancholy, if you let it be, that. The spider doesn't dwell on all the webs its weaved before, the ones that were destroyed, ripped apart, dissolved. It focuses on the one it is creating now, the one that will tie it into the future, the forward tense. Create and create. Hard work, patience. Letting yourself get lost in the motions of the work as a sort of mediation, an acceptance of all the things you must let go of, cannot change. Look around, at nature. Look at how, despite everything, so many things stubbornly weave, crawl their way up.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

quotes and a new deck

As much as I did enjoy this time with my most favorite deck, which was especially lovely as I was getting acclimated to my new surroundings, it doth be time, one feels, for another switch...

"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways." 

“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”
-Deepak Chopra

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else."
-Henry Ward Beecher

Friday, June 15, 2012

ready for the new

The Page of Swords is a figure that stands with the sword in hand - but he doesn't charge forward recklessly like the knight, not quite. There is still the bit of the dreamer in him, the bit of whimsy.

But this page is ready for the new, especially mentally, intellectually. He is intrigued by the challenge of the unfamiliar: it is a puzzle for him to solve, something to think on, to ponder. How else would he learn? He wants to see, to analyze, to observe. Perhaps he can stand there so calmly in the face of whatever because, air-like, he really does feel a certain sense of detachment, of being in but not a part of. Laughter comes easier that way, regardless of circumstances. But the challenge to the mind, the challenge of taking on the new, is so much a part of this. He wants so very much to grow stronger, better.

A very relevant card for me, as I ease into routines and get properly settled in to my new surroundings. There's been some unrest the last few days, Salafi riots and military curfews and the like, but nothing too serious. Like the page, I probably find this more exciting/amusing than I should because well, new things, observing, detachment.

Enjoy exploring, walking around, seeing much. Enjoy the little challenges of everyday life. Really getting into the arabic study. It's a change, to be focused so very much on learning one thing rather than having a whole load of classes to split attention between. Many hours of studying to be had.

This card makes me think of communication and messages too. Have been having fun sending postcards to all over. (Speaking of which, one or two people who I also know from AT I am already sending to, but if anyone would like one - postage here is pretty cheap - i just need a mailing address: oracletodisaster at gmail dot com), and posting pictures and the like. Trying to keep up communication is a bit hard, with so much to do/grab my attention here, but trying.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

My Favorite Majors: The Tower

The Tower is, without a doubt, a major with a very well defined, strong message. Regardless of what deck I am working with, when THIS comes up in a reading, I have a good idea of where to begin reading/what it could mean. It's been kind of a theme in my thinking about life for a while now, so pretty familiar with this card, and actually do have a certain odd fondness for it.

That said, it was rather difficult to pick out favorite cards for this one - not because there were so many that I loved, but rather the opposite. Not that I actively dislike most tower cards more...I feel neutral towards many. They are nice enough, and they get their point across well. But very few, I find, really shine either aesthetically or conceptually.

XVI. Tower

There's a lot to like about this tower card, for me. Firstly, the color scheme makes a nice change from the warmer tones found in many Tower cards I've seen, all the runny blue and purple. I also like the idea of the tower as a tree type dwelling...once very alive, vibrant, now old and rotting. The lighting ignites it, which is in fact what happens in nature all the time to trees, and here we see the result. The burning of the branches and leaves, the coming apart of old things. The composition of the images is also quite nice and works well for really seeing what's going on in the card. It's a pretty simple tower card, overall, but the color and the metaphor especially really work for me.

Runner Up:
Another from the Thoth, ha. What can I say? There's a reason this deck so rapidly came to be one of my favorites... But yeah, the card is very...put together. The reddish-orange color scheme meshes perfectly with the card's Mars association; the black tones exemplify the darker, more difficult aspects well. Love the art style - it really is a visually stunning image, and one that really, really does not pull it's punches insofar as the meaning of it goes. Lots of great symbolism - the eye of shiva, the dove in the corner, the bars in the windows and doors of the breaking tower, the crystalline figures falling out of it, so afraid they will break apart when they fall... There really is  a lot to latch onto, and unsurprisingly, I've gotten some really good readings when this card came up in the spread, both for myself and others. And honestly, the mouth in the bottom corner of the card...silly amusement on one level, a certain extra level of fondness for the card.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Interesting Interpretation

Just a tidbit I found rather interesting -

This Temperance card came up as part of a quick draw I did for myself on Sunday morning. We were about to head out to the desert for a day of exploring oases and desert springs, of bouncing around driving over sand dunes and visiting the set where they filmed scenes from original Star Wars movies and such fun things.

The most traditional interpretation of this card would probably have something to do with acting in a balanced manner, being measured in my behavior, perhaps doing some creative things (have been really having fun with photography) etc. But what immediately came  to mind was the water in the image, the pouring of water from cup to cup. Even in the most normal circumstances back home, I have a terrible tendency to let myself get quite rather dehydrated and well, a day in a hot desert...avoiding that would be even more important.

And what do you know, despite having that in mind, I did indeed again let myself get rather dehydrated at a certain point. By that I mean, to the degree where I felt my heart racing every time I stood up/walked, light-headedness, etc. In my defense, this was mostly caused by a long stretch of a lack of bathroom availability, but yeah. Drinking enough water - a very temperance thing to do too, if you think about it, even if it isn't the most common interpretation of the card.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Attitude Adjustment

So I've had the Ace of Swords come up in multiple readings and draws I've done in the last week, with both of the decks I've been working with. And well, it's not for no reason, unsurprisingly.

Aces are all about new beginnings, about starting afresh, about opportunities, open doors. In the Ace of Swords specifically we have the chance for well...a change in mindset, in attitude, in thought. How do you think, how do you analyze and assess and approach your life and the things that happen to you?

I quite like the symbolism in the Thoth ace. The sword is green - green for spring, for flowering, for growth. A crown above it for control, and light, and behind you can see more light growing, piercing through clouds and dark blue, the new day awaiting you, chances.

The Ace of Swords, being a sword, can also represent cutting away, a cleaner break from the old, which is not always easy but sometimes quite advantageous. There is, without a doubt, lots in my mind and outlook that I could do with letting go of, or at the very least of seriously refreshing, and well...

What better time to work on mental change when there is already so much physical change going on around you? For me at least, external changes do, at least in the short-term, provide a kind of momentum that can be quite difficult to grasp otherwise (perhaps this is why I change around my life so much in recent years?)

Right now, I am in the privileged position of having been able to get away from 'normal' life in a very significant way, and for a good bit of time. Why not try to use that to leverage something in my approach to life that could be of use when I get back? I always try very hard to to bring too much baggage of things from 'before' on new beginnings or adventures, but why not try to take that a step further and try from something more long-term? There certainly is room in my life for it.

I am in the middle of a four day trip with my language school to the south of Tunisia - there are long bus rides which I normally hate, and some challenges for me with food, as a vegan, but really, I can't remember the last time that I've felt so overall positive and fulfilled about things. Being social enough for my needs with classmates, learning a bit more arabic by chatting with the director of the school, taking lots of pictures of truly beautiful things... Being in the moment, and the moment is... just great. So yes, why not try to leverage this kind of feeling into something more...long-term? At the very least, trying to improve in that regard should ensure I get the most out of my experiences and have some great memories.

Thursday, June 7, 2012


So I know I haven't written much specifically about being in Tunisia thus far. I mean for this blog to be about and focused on tarot, and that limits things, somewhat, in terms of what I write about, when and how.

It's half past three in the morning here right now, and I can't sleep. Listening to the call to prayer and the sound of a very vocal rooster calling. Probably won't sleep tonight. Need to leave very early for a weekend trip to the south of the country. There will, no doubt, be lots of new things to see, to do, to learn.

Things aren't perfect, of course. Things will never be perfect, ideal, no matter what the circumstances or where you are. It is only in memory, sometimes, that the details of all the little issues and annoyances and inconveniences can be glossed over and forgotten. When you are in the middle of things, actually living life and experiencing events as they come at you, things will never quite be so...smooth and painless.

And yet, nonetheless. There is so much  here to enjoy, so much to take advantage of and be grateful for.

This may seem like a funny card to come up, in reflection of my experience here thus far - after all, I am here not with family or friends but alone. But if you look closer...appreciating, enjoying. They are enjoying each other's company, and the adults at least, are old and experienced enough to KNOW that they have a good thing going on, to know how great it is to have the chance to look up at that dazzling rainbow in front of them, beauty.

In the neighborhood where my language school is, all the buildings are painted blue and white. There are so many colorful flowers growing everywhere. And very nearby, the sea, bright blue too. Yes, lots to appreciate here indeed.

on being more assertive

So a couple things have happened recently that have really made me more aware of the fact that one of the things I really do need to work on is being more assertive - and especially, more assertive in saying NO when no is, in fact, what I really want to say. I decided to do a reading for some advice/perspective on the topic. With no particular spread in mind, ended up drawing two sets of pairs that really summed things up for me quite nicely.

Here, in the first pair of cards - and notice the fact that they are both twos, which to me seems to intensify the message - is essentially the crux of the reason why doing this, why being assertive and saying no when that is what I am thinking, is so hard for me. I like harmony. I like to get along with people. I want people to have a positive impression of me, to be on good terms with me, to think well of me. Even when this is a bit silly - when the person in question is a stranger who I am unlikely to see again, or someone I know who has already violated my trust or our relationship in some way - I STILL don't want and don't like conflict. It just seems so much easier to go along, to keep everything smooth and nice, to keep up the illusion that we are on the same page, great partners in whatever it is, etc.

But of course that second two, the reversed swords card, is telling me that this is a balance that isn't really balanced at all. This is me taking on the weight of being unhappy, dissatisfied, feeling like I've lost something, etc., for no good reason. This isn't really a sustainable way of going about things. The ideal of getting along grand with everyone, in all situations, just isn't a realistic one. When I go into these specific kinds of interactions, with that idea of keeping EVERYONE happy, what I am really doing is making the other person happy and making me frustrated with myself. And well - if the fact is that one person is going to be dissatisfied anyway, why should it be me and not the person who was trying to take advantage of me or whatever? So yeah, this is an idea I really need to work on letting go of - in some circumstances, it really is ok not to be accommodating, even to be a bit 'rude'.

Now here, in this second set, we have the 'solution' to my issue. This queen of wands really projects confidence, doesn't she? She sits perfectly comfortable in her throne, with that tall staff in one hand, the sunflower in the other. She has her tools, wields them with authority, knows how to do what needs to be done. A cat sits at her feet, which really compounds the message because - has there ever been a creature as self-assured as a cat? The message to be comfortable in my own skin, to be sure of myself, to trust intuition and my judgement and to not be afraid of externalizing that. Greater self-confidence would really help with this particular issue, I think. And if getting myself to feel that right away is a bit difficult? "Fake it till you make it" I believe the saying is?

Indeed, let go of whatever mental things would try to hold me back and just do it, leap into it, do not be afraid, so worried of offending or bothering, particularly when I KNOW that the person I am dealing with has no such concerns of their own. The sun in the fool card seems to be a reflection of the queen's sunflower and a stark constant to the moon in the 2 of swords - it has an eye, open, for knowledge, clear assessment of the situation, awareness, and its presence, like the Sun major, seems to speak of the potential for success. Just do it: No, I am sorry. No, I cannot. No, please leave. No, stop it. Just say it. Sometimes you really do just need to stop thinking and caring so much.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

taking on the new

Another rather apropos draw today. As promised, posting from my new digs in Tunis. The first card is quite on point in the sense of...a journey, moving forward, pushing past the currents, and in so many ways that new shore offers so many opportunities, so much potential, so many new, unknown things to learn, to explore, to discover...and of course, behind you, all the reasons you left in the first place, still perfectly valid. And yet, the people in that boat....they don't look very excited at all, do they? The sitting figures are huddled. I suppose that is because well...the new can be difficult, until you get your bearings. All that familiar comfort, knowledge, is gone. You are walking around unfamiliar streets, needing to familiarize yourself with an unfamiliar train systems, talk in languages you aren't nearly as fluent in as your first, scavenge and hunt down stores that sell food you can actually eat, accustom yourself to very intensive classes, much moreso than you are used to many unfamiliar things, hitting you all at once...and who would want to huddle down, in those circumstances?

But of course, that isn't the best solution. The six of swords is Science in the thoth, and in a way you can see how to get the spirit of that here, too. It's about being proactive about exploring the new shore, about filling in those gaps of knowledge. Think and do. Draw on all of those resources you have on the table in front of you. Ask, speak, study, walk. Get out in this new world and experience it - the best way to deal with the unfamiliar, after all, is to experience it until new familiarity develops. Confidence in yourself, that you can handle all this, and action, follow-through. Instead of dwelling on it all and letting yourself get overwhelmed, just go and take things on, one at a time.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

time to take the leap

"Today is your day, your mountain is waiting, so get on your way." 
-Dr. Seuss 

So yeah, today's the day, as this card clearly indicates. The fact that this fool's ledge is over water and I shall be flying across the Atlantic is a nice detail, I do say.

Next time I post in this blog, it shall be from Tunis. :D

And for fun, this is what I did with my luggage - my own fool's pack, much larger than his because...I am genetically unable to pack light even when I try, ha:

At least I shall instantly know which one is mine in baggage pickup!

Saturday, June 2, 2012

tower in perspective

So a final draw with the La Corte dei Tarocchi before putting it away for a while - this one is most definitely a keeper.

This Tower card, I must say, is particularly appropriate right now. A sudden change, a major shift, the old and familiar coming apart - certainly not a surprise or negative, in this situation, and yet nonetheless. The title of this card makes it immediately clear what it is in reference to, in this draw: Babel, languages, communication. In two days I will be getting on a plane and spending the next ten weeks living in a country where English is not the primarily spoken language, seeing how far my rusty french can get me, studying arabic intensively. I was actually supposed to brush up on both this week and that just...hasn't happened at all...

I suppose it's only now really striking me (another appropriate metaphor, to this card) that this is really happening, and very, very soon. I feel unprepared - I am, at least from a packing and even procuring things I need perspective, still unready. That taking care of the details card from the previous reading? Yeah, overwhelming. Big change, big event, HAPPENING, and I feel...overwhelmed by the details of what I need to do.

The queen card is an interesting contrast. She looks quite assured, doesn't she? She has the situation firmly in hand. This card kind of reminds me of my mother, actually - she is a virgo, an earth sign, and much better than I in the details getting done end of things. She actually helped me a lot in terms of getting my apartment cleaned up when I was moving out last weekend, which was another part of this rapid series of changes which...LOOMED, but then was resolved without too much trouble. The dog in the card also catches my eye, enjoying itself, seeing the coin as a game, something to try to catch. Perhaps a shift away from this stress stress attitude would serve me well. Bigger-picture wise, I do see this as a very exciting adventure, but in the immediate term, when I see suitcases that need to be unpacked and repacked and my belongings strewn across two rooms it's hard not to just...stress.

It will be good for me, to keep this queen in mind. Poised, assured, a hand on everything, capable of getting things done. And the little dog, full of so much energy and simple joy...